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restlessmaknae · 3 months ago

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favourite sight // leehan

When the annual summer class trip means a visit to Busan and staying at Leehan’s family’s hotel, you know that it will be total chaos, you just don’t expect to fall for your arch nemesis, the most popular boy of the year - Leehan himself.

➳ Characters: class vice-president!Leehan x class president!female reader/you

➳ Genre: boarding school au, summer class trip au, enemies to lovers (but not really), rich kids au, fluff, comedy

➳ Words: 6.7k

➳ Warning: mentions of food, reader can't swim and almost drowns in one scene, academic pressure, playful banter between reader and Leehan in which Leehan is called a show off, stupid tall with stupid long eyelashes and stupid long legs (because she's oblivious duh)

➳ A/N: This story is the second installment of my 'love map' multifandom series which features 3 different idols and 3 different stories that take place in 3 different countries. The stories can be read on their own though.❤️

Header taken from this WHY Concept Film

➳ Dedicated to: @dat-town ❤️

➳ Taglist: @s00buwu, @emmylksblog, @0310s, @hansuo

When the annual summer class trip means a visit to Busan and staying at Leehan’s family’s hotel, you know that it will be total chaos, you just don’t expect it to be this chaotic. Alas, you also end up falling for your arch nemesis, the most popular boy of the year - Leehan himself.

You weren’t supposed to stay at the hotel of Leehan’s family. You were supposed to go somewhere else, some place that had nothing to do with him, but the arranged accommodation went back on your request when they decided to take on organising a business event for an international company. Not that you could blame them; they were probably better off serving cocktail after cocktail to rich business people than babysit students who were not allowed to drink alcohol and bring in any either.

Like the show-off he was, Leehan rang his parents the moment your homeroom teacher announced that she would need to look for another accommodation, and asked for your help - you as class president and Leehan as vice-president. The boy was done within a few minutes, and your homeroom teacher looked like she was on the verge of crying when he confirmed that his family’s hotel had enough rooms for their class. She had already been stressed over organising this whole trip to Busan on her own while trying to accommodate all the parents’ requests, she probably already thought that she had to cancel the whole trip because of this.

The only reason you held yourself back from snorting was because of Miss Lee, otherwise, you would have made a comment on how Leehan always ended up playing the hero, and how he knew ‘someone’ wherever he went. Sure, everyone was famous and rich in one way or another at KOZ International High School as it was a private boarding school, the number 1 for university admission rate success in Asia and number 5 worldwide, but he just seemed to be everywhere.

Plus, since you were the class president and he was the vice-president, you just had to put up with it all the time. Even if it meant having to shoo away shrieking girls when they caught sight of him in the library as you two were picking up books for the next class or rolling your eyes when you collected mobile phones at the beginning of the day and yet another girl made a joke about how Leehan could keep their phone if it meant that they could have his heart.

You already knew that this class trip would be about him when Busan came out as the most voted destination in this year’s poll, the first Korean city after the last two years - it was Hanoi the summer after freshman year and Shanghai the summer after sophomore year. You just didn’t expect that it would be about him to this extent.

“Were your rooms really not sold out for that week during summer?” You quirked an eyebrow as you exited the teachers’ room, shooting the boy a glance. He didn’t seem to be offended by the implication behind your words, he merely said:

“The hotel has a separate building for events where mostly weddings take place and wedding guests can sleep, and it was coincidentally not booked yet. Wedding season starts a bit later into summer.”

“Of course,” you mumbled under your nose, not like you knew anything about the hospitality industry. Your parents owned a private clinic, the furthest thing from his family’s line of work.

“I’d say it was supposed to happen this way,” he shrugged his shoulders casually, the tie around his neck a bit looser than usual, and you had this inexplicably annoying urge to reach out and fix it for him. You wanted to save your dignity though, you could already imagine the teasing remarks you would get if you willingly did something like this for him, so no thanks, you would rather jump off a cliff.

“Are you that happy to go to Busan?”

“I mean, there’s the seaside, there’s my parents’ hotel, what’s there not to love?”

Everything, you wanted to say, but when you turned a corner, the hustle-bustle of the corridor filled with the students’ chatting blocked out all of the snarky thoughts in your head, and instead, you saved yourself from another 15 minutes of having to witness the boy’s popularity to yourself, and told him that you would go ahead and set up the Physics lab for next class, he could do it next week.

He didn’t protest, he merely gave you a bob of his head and a lazy half-smirk, something that made girls go crazy over him, except you.

The hotel was enormous, to say the least, and you weren’t even in the main area. You really had a separate building to yourself that had a dining room, a dance room and a karaoke room on the ground floor. You had the feeling that they turned a bar into the latter because there were shelves that seemed similar to shelves that held fancy bottles of alcohol, but nothing seemed out of place. You even had an outside pool and a direct view of the seaside, something that made everyone impressed.

“Dude, why didn’t you tell us about this place in the previous years? We should have come here every summer before,” Yechan exclaimed as he took out his phone and started recording, probably filming a new video for his Youtube channel. It seemed that every mundane person was either too curious or too bored to get a glimpse into a boarding school student’s daily life because his channel had already accumulated 2 million followers, and he had only started last year. Though it definitely helped that he was half Canadian, half Korean, so he could speak both English and Korean and provide subtitles for both languages.

“I thought you said you wanted us to go to your parents’ hotel next time,” Jungwon chirped in, but the Canadian boy shook his head.

“Nah, Toronto is too cold for summer trips.”

“Can we use the pool too, Miss Lee?” Millie inquired after the two boys settled on dismissing Canada as a possible destination for next year’s class trip. Thank God next year’s trip will be the last one, you didn’t know how you would survive these events any longer. Plus, all the money that you spent on this summer trip should have been donated to charity in your opinion, but alas, it was mandatory.

“Of course, but only until 10 PM, and obviously, be responsible. Some of you can’t swim, so no pushing, alright?”

“Who can’t swim?” You heard Gyuvin ask with his jaw comically dropping, but his question was muffled by the cacophony of suitcase spinner wheels, dropped bags and the usual lively chit-chat of soon-to-be senior year students.

“How do you like it?” Leehan asked, leaning closer to you, so you could hear him, but you gave him a death glare for doing so, and stepped backwards. Too bad that a lamp pole was also there, and you almost bumped your head into it if it hadn’t been for Leehan’s hand taking the hit.

For a moment, you just blinked up at him and his stupid height, too embarrassed for your own good. You were the class president, for God’s sake, you were the person of order and responsibility, you couldn't randomly bump into lamp posts!

You could see from the corner of your eyes that Taesan - Leehan’s friend - thought better of waiting for him, and awkwardly turned around to walk towards the hotel, but you didn’t dare look for his full reaction. You were sure that your face was flushed as it was, you didn’t need anyone else’s reaction on top of Leehan’s.

“Are you okay?” The boy asked uncharacteristically gently, his voice void of any playfulness, which was almost a first for him. Why did he even have to have stupid long eyelashes? Ones that fluttered oh so beautifully while he was looking down at you.

“I’m fine. Never been better. You should just… keep your distance from me,” you warned him as you pushed him away, at least enough, so that you could grab your suitcase again and start walking towards the hotel. It didn’t take him long to catch up to you with his stupid long legs.

“I can see that my closeness is having an effect on you even though you clearly claimed in sophomore year that you are immune to boys like me.”

“I am. It’s not my fault that you sneaked up to me like that, and that lamp post was there behind me,” you pointed out defensively, and kept your eyes on the back of the last two students from your class.

Miss Lee got Mr Brown with him - your English teacher -, so that they could supervise your class, but they were at the front, and you and Leehan were always at the back at events like this, so that no one could get lost (like Yuma and Jo on a company visit to Samsung in sophomore year) or hide in a bush ever again (Gyuvin once tried that during a class trip).

“Well, this is my city, and I’m going to make sure everyone has the time of their life, including you,” Leehan announced triumphantly, flashing a smile at you that was akin to the ones he used when he was campaigning to be voted as the vice-president again after last year. No wonder Rei didn’t get the title even though you would have preferred to have her instead of Leehan.

“Sure. Good luck with that,” you wished with an eye roll, and urged Ricky in front of you to keep moving instead of checking his hair in the hotel’s glass door.

If Leehan’s idea of having the time of your life was handing out shark-shaped gummies and bringing giant Sony party speakers to the pool - the ones that even had microphones attached to them, so you could have a karaoke - on the second night, you would have a pretty miserable life.

Nevertheless, you were only there because Miss Lee and Mr Brown were on duty at the entrance, checking if no one tried to sneak alcohol into the hotel, so you didn’t even bother with a swimsuit, you merely wore a flowery summer dress. Much to some girls’ dismay, most of the boys didn’t go shirtless, they had long-sleeved yet tight swimwear and shorts, the ones people used for some water sports. Though since Ricky’s parents owned the brand they wore, you had an idea why.

Anton was on lifeguard duty since he was on the national swimming team, and he would probably rather jump in to save a drowning student than manoeuvre himself around guys playing with plastic water guns and girls chatting in the pool instead of outside of it. You asked him if he needed anything - something to drink or to take a break -, but he said that he was fine, so you didn’t need to worry.

You acknowledged his answer with a bob of your head, and turned around just in time to be splashed by a huge amount of water by Pierre who had just jumped in. You stood there, frozen, your summer dress completely sticking to your body, and you were in the middle of blinking the water out of your eyes when you heard someone yell ‘class president’ and then you were pushed into the water with the kind of force that you could not resist.

It’s not like you couldn’t get any wetter than this, but you couldn’t swim, and your flailing hands didn’t do a thing to keep you up. You were about to throw every kind of rationality out of the window as your basic survival instincts kicked in, but you could feel strong hands pulling you to the surface in no time, Anton’s body emerging from the water beside yours.

“Are you okay?” The boy inquired with big, bright eyes, his damp hair hiding most of his face before he reached out to push his hair back.

Still struggling to breathe properly, you mumbled something akin to an answer, and blinked rapidly, taking in the silence around you and the concerned or curious eyes of your classmates.

The only one who wasn’t surprised to see you struggling was Anton since he had gotten the names of students who couldn’t swim in case no one else would jump in to save a drowning student - a list you had volunteered to put together and pass onto him. Never in your wildest dreams would you have thought that you would be the first one who had to be rescued by him, and that the whole class would know about the fact that you couldn’t swim already on the second day of the trip.

You, the straight A-student, class president since sophomore year, speaking three languages fluently and playing the violin professionally. You, the daughter of the owners of the most prestigious private clinic in not only Seoul but the whole country. You, who was not supposed to have any weakness or fear.

You could faintly hear someone apologise and Anton asking if you needed him to ask for a medical staff, but you shrugged everyone off. Your flip-flops were probably in the pool somewhere after your fall, and you couldn’t be bothered to go back and fetch them. Instead, you furiously trampled back into the hotel barefoot.

It wasn’t just the dress sticking to you, it was humiliation too, something that you had not experienced on such a wide level after being told in front of the whole class that you had messed up a basic equation during a Maths test. No one would have guessed that you had been ill the whole week before the test because you had not let them know about it.

When you heard footsteps behind you, you already knew who it was before you turned to face him in all your wet glory, pitiful compared to his beautiful shoulder-length hair, softest of the brown of chestnuts and fluffiest of the ruffable kind.

“What do you want? I can go to my room on my own, thank you so much,” you told him off before he could have given you an answer, but then, he draped a towel over your body without saying a word.

You were about to shrug it off, but he pulled it tighter around you, holding the ends of the towel with his fists. You looked up at him, eyes throwing angry daggers, and maybe that was what prompted him to justify his actions.

“Your dress… it’s kind of see-through now,” he blurted out as if it was difficult for him to say something that could have been - under different circumstances - borderline flirty. But this was in no way a time and place where you would have wanted to be told that the white flowery dress of yours that should have not been in contact with any kind of liquid was now showing everyone what was underneath. How stupid of you, how stupid of those stupid boys to still act like dumbass kids and push others into the water.

Even if it was not Leehan who did this to you, his remark set something off within you, like when the countdown is up on a ticking time bomb or the trigger is pulled.

“You see, that’s why I didn’t want to come here. It’s not enough that now the whole class knows that I can’t swim but they also saw my underwear. Great. I’m really having the best time of my life, Leehan,” you spitted out furiously, pushing his hands away before pulling the tower tighter around your body, and walking back to your room, drops of water and mortification following your barefoot steps.

Of course, the news of the incident reached your teachers pretty quickly, and both Miss Lee and Mr Brown were knocking on your door as soon as you managed to get changed and hide the remains of your tears with an embarrassing amount of concealer. You reassured them that you were fine, but they told you to take it easy for the rest of the night, they would ask Anton to look over the students in your place since he was already monitoring the pool either way.

Then, Noah also came by to apologise for pushing you into the water. It wasn’t even the most embarrassing part that he had to come by to do it, the most embarrassing part came when he gave you that pitiful look, that ‘oh, I didn’t know you can’t swim’, something that almost made you curse him out right on the spot. Instead, you told him to keep himself in check for the rest of the trip because you wouldn’t help him out in Biology if you ever heard him joke about this incident. He scurried away like a wounded animal, but at least, he came by.

When the third knock on your room came, you seriously contemplated not opening the door. After all, you could be listening to music with your noise-cancelling headphones on, or you could already be sleeping, or even crying in the bathroom like you had done so an hour ago. In the end, you didn’t want to be a coward, and opened the door, but the last person you wanted to see there was Leehan.

“Look, before you ask what I’m doing here, I want to say that I got some stuff for you from the kitchen because Miss Lee said that you didn’t come down for dinner, and I thought you might be hungry,” he started, holding up his hands in front of his chest as if saying that he knew you were about to ask him these questions. You were, and even if he thought that you were moping in your room (which you did) because you were still embarrassed about what had just happened (which you were), you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of agreeing to him.

However, he beat you to it, and continued his monologue before you could even open your mouth to protest.

“It’s not because I think you wouldn’t come down after what happened, but if you’re worried about the others, don’t worry. There is already bigger news such as Kit confessing to Millie and Gyuvin stepping on a bee and getting stung, so everyone’s already over what happened with you. Maybe except Anton who kept asking if you were alright, but that boy is too kind-hearted not to do so,” he said so in such a conversational manner that someone walking by might have thought that you were talking about the weather.

Maybe it was the drowning experience getting to you or the genuine consideration in his words and actions, but you found yourself smiling, and before you could hide it, Leehan also noticed it.

“Oh great, you’re smiling! Now, eat your dinner or you won’t get tall,” he teased you as he reached out the plate of food he brought. There was a sandwich, some veggies, crisps and a napkin on it, plus a bottle of smoothie in his other hand.

“Yah, I take after my mother in terms of height. She would be sad if she heard you criticising my height,” you pointed out, puffing your chest out like you wanted to take pride in your frame. Not everyone could be so stupidly tall as him (and many other boys in the class, by the way).

“Alright, alright, I’ll take it back.”

“Well, thank you,” you retorted a bit playfully before looking down at the plate in your hand. “And for the food, too,” you added a bit more seriously while you looked back at him. He just kept staring at you, the ends of his lips curling upwards in somewhat of an affectionate gesture, and it was so unlike the Leehan that you knew that you found it difficult to form coherent words.

“And the towel, too,” you found yourself admitting, a bit struck by that never-seen-before smile of his. Even his dimples popped off when the smile reached a certain height, and suddenly, you had no idea what to say.

“Well then, I guess my duty’s done for today. Good night, Y/N!” Leehan broke the silence first, breaking the serene moment, but you were actually thankful for him. For a second, you were scared that if you saw more of this side of him, you would start falling for him, and you couldn’t allow yourself to.

“Good night, Leehan!” You wished with a smile that you would not take responsibility for, before closing the door on him.

It’s not that you and Leehan were enemies as per se. It’s more like you were usually of a different opinion, and as class president and vice-president who had to work together pretty much all the time, it was quite bothersome to put up with it. Not to mention the crowd of fangirls following him everywhere.

At first, you thought that he was just a pretty face, joyfully swimming in his glory, but from time to time, you could catch a glimpse into how taxing it was to act like he did so on the daily - reacting to girls with a kind smile no matter what they said, playing along with their flirty remarks and always trying to say the right words to avoid getting into trouble. When some students’ inquiries were far too personal or pushy, you tried to step in, and made excuses for you two, so that you could leave the scene, and far too often, Leehan thanked you for it. He didn’t have to know that you didn’t do it for yourself (which you claimed that you did) but for him.

However, after the events on the second day, you didn’t know what to do with yourself when you were around him. After all, he had no reason to pay you a visit and to bring you dinner. He didn’t even have to confirm it with Miss Lee that you hadn’t come down to get dinner. So why was he going the extra mile? Your first thought was that he wanted something from you, but when the next day passed by without any favours, just a day of going to the aquarium, walking along the seaside and a moderate pool party at night, you grew suspicious.

On the fourth day, when you were done with sightseeing for the day, the teachers gave you three hours of free time to look around by yourselves, and it was the perfect chance to ask the boy about it while the students around you were busy deciding on their activity.

“Do you want something from me?” You posed the question at Leehan straight-forwardly, and the boy furrowed his eyebrows in question, appearing perplexed.

“What do you mean by that?”

“I mean… you’re awfully kind to me these days. Perhaps… did you do something to my locker before we left for the trip?” You guessed suspiciously, suddenly being reminded of the time he put a heart-shaped sticker on your locker with the words ‘class president’ written with ink in the middle of it. It was after you were selected class president for the second consecutive year, and it was his first time being the vice president beside you. Needless to say, it was impossible to remove that sticker no matter how hard you tried, you could only manage to wash off the ink, and now it seemed even more embarrassing to have a random heart-shaped ticker on your locker from no other than Leehan.

The boy must have found it extremely amusing to see you suspecting him like that because he let out that endearing giggle of his that was both boyish and innocent.

“Now that you mention it, maybe I should have…” He teased you with a lopsided grin, and you were about to smack him in the side when Gyuvin, Ricky and Taesan came up to you to ask where you were thinking of going in your free time. You heard Millie, Liv and Selina say that they would go shopping, and Leo said something about wanting to try fishing (though you had no idea if it was allowed at this part of the seaside), you didn’t know about others’ plans.

Truth to be told, you had no idea about yours either, you would probably just find yourself a cosy little café and take a breather because it was hot and stuffy out here, but you didn’t want anyone else to follow suit, so you didn’t say a word.

“Taesan, you know that place that I’ve told you about? You should go ahead with the guys, we need to discuss something with Y/N about tomorrow’s activities,” Leehan answered first, and you gave him a side eye. What more did you need to discuss with him other than the ones you already did?

Taesan seemed somewhat perplexed for a moment, but then, his features smoothened, and he coolly told the others to follow him. Even though Gyuvin suggested that they could wait for you, Ricky patted his shoulder and dragged the lanky boy with him, so it was just you and Leehan again.

“What more do we need to discuss?”

“I want to show you something,” he announced, scratching the back of his neck a bit shyly. Since you were awful at reacting normally to surprises, you merely said:

“Is this the part where you will take me to an abandoned warehouse and leave me there, so that you can be the class president next year?”

Leehan let out a deep, joyous laughter hearing your question, and reassured you that no, he wouldn’t want to run for class president because that was your title, and no, he wouldn’t take you to an abandoned warehouse. He explained that the guys might not enjoy what he was about to show you, but if he remembered correctly, you would do so.

You eyed him for a good thirty seconds before letting him take you where he wanted. After all, it was his city, he knew his way around, so you followed him, and soon enough, you found yourself in the Busan Arboretum with one of the prettiest glasshouses you had ever seen in real life.

You were waiting for the boy to crack a joke or say something teasing, but instead, he merely declared:

“I remembered you making a presentation about the functionality of glasshouses and ending it with different glasshouses in the country, and I don’t know if you remember, but this was one of them.”

“I do, but how do you remember that?” You turned the tables, turning to look at him, to look him in the eyes because you didn’t get it. How did he remember such an insignificant detail from a presentation you had given years ago?

Leehan smiled at you gently as if he was looking at a child, ready to say something, but then, he decided otherwise and averted his eyes to the plants in front of him. After a few seconds, he cleared his throat and asked if you wanted to take pictures. So you let him take a few shots of you in exchange for doing the same for him, and it was all fun and games, acting silly and joking about pushing the other into a cactus when a sudden realisation hit you like lighting:

Were you falling for Leehan?

On the fifth day, you went to the Gamcheon Culture Village with its picturesque murals and quaint alleys, soaking up a mixture of art and history while listening to the tour guide who was assigned to your group. There were many pretty stairs, vibrant art installations and even a statue of the Little Prince and its Fox looking over the houses that were clumped together as if they were meant to be. The tour was supposed to last 4 hours, but it was close to 5 hours by the time everyone stopped posing for pictures and halting at every possible corner.

You must have been visibly in awe because Leehan joked that you should close your mouth, but when you admitted that you didn’t expect Busan to be this diverse, you caught sight of a proud smile stretching across his lips. He reminded you that he told you that he would make sure everyone has the time of their life, but you rebutted by stating that the itinerary was mainly Miss Lee’s work, not his. To that, he didn’t say anything, just kept smiling to himself like a fool, giving yet another reason for Taesan to give him a side eye.

After finishing the tour with a lunch break in between, you picked up some ice cream before the tour bus picked you up and took you back to the hotel. That night was BBQ-themed and there was also a campfire, something so movie-like and childish, yet it had a special feel to it because most of you had never had a campfire. Your families weren’t the typical families that took you camping for vacation. Most of you flew to other countries to visit a store from your parents’ chain or to accompany your relatives to important events. Having a BBQ where you could take part in grilling the meat, preparing the veggies and side dishes, and singing songs around the campfire weren’t exactly the kind of activities that you were used to, but no one complained. Not even Ricky who ate his hamburger with a knife and a fork because he hated getting his hands dirty.

It was also fun listening to all the different songs your classmates sang in all the different languages - from French to Spanish, Vietnamese to Korean -, how different they sounded, yet how much you enjoyed them all despite not understanding the words. One thing that you liked about your school - and your class - was that it was so diverse, you never had to worry that you would stand out because of your skin colour or hair, everyone was welcome. Whilst that didn’t lift the weight off your shoulders that the academic pressure put on, you were grateful that you had the chance to be exposed to such a supportive learning environment.

“Wanna play Truth or Dare?” Zack asked enthusiastically after it seemed like everyone was out of songs, and even Miss Lee dared to sit beside Mr Brown, reassured that no one would set the grill on fire (though Leo was close to it at one point).

“Really? We are almost seniors, that’s for kids,” Yechan refuted with a huff, rolling his eyes in a sassy way.

“Does that mean you have something to hide?” Wonyoung asked with a playful grin, and that was all it took for Yechan to give in and join the game. You passed on it, not wanting to be the victim of any of the ‘dares’ which - based on last years’ games - always included doing aegyo, a popular girl group dance (for both boys and girls), reenacting drama scenes, doing 50 pushups, chugging down Coke within 1 minute or kissing someone. You didn’t want to be a victim of any of it.

The others only protested for like a minute before they forgot about it, and let you walk away from the circle of students sitting around the campfire. You walked up to the edge of the property, leaning against the railing and taking in the scenery. You were so used to the huge skyscrapers in the capital city and the magnificent walls of your boarding school that times like this reminded you that there was a world outside of the little bubble you existed in for most part of the year, or at least the school year.

“Guests always get surprised when they see this view because they initially think our description of a beautiful view of the sea is an overstatement,” Leehan remarked in a conversational manner while he was walking up to you, and halted beside you, only an arm's length away. His hair was seemingly freshly washed, some unruly locks escaping his earlobe and falling into his eyes instead. Even though he did tuck them behind his ears dutifully, you were itching to do the same for him.

Gosh, you were really going insane, weren’t you? And yet… falling for him never seemed so thrilling.

“There are a lot of scams nowadays,” you hummed, pointing out that a lot of accommodations did indeed lie about beautiful views and such, so that people would choose them. His family didn’t lie though. “It’s so pretty,” you admitted quietly, watching as the setting sun painted different streaks onto the surface of the water, colours ranging from grape purple to princeton orange. You usually didn’t notice the sunrise or the sunset when you were scooped up in your room or the library, so having to witness such beautiful installations in the sky for the past week was kind of moving.

“You are prettier.”

When the words rolled off Leehan’s tongue, you snapped your head back to look at him, but just like his tone, his expression was gentle, too. He appeared so soft, so dreamy in that moment with the sunset painting colours onto the canvas of his skin, that for the first time in a while, you were completely speechless beside him. As if you were enchanted or starstruck. Both of which could actually be true.

Leehan though, he took note of your silence, too.

“I don’t even get an “oh, that’s too cheesy, stop it”?” He asked, now with a lopsided grin, and you let out a light-hearted giggle in return. Something weightless bubbled up inside of you when you simply stated:

“I would tell you that if I didn’t know that you like me.”

The boy’s eyes widened to almost twice their size, his lips slightly parting. He looked so baffled, almost as if you had told him that you wouldn’t run for class president next year - something that everyone took for granted after your first year together.

“Y-you know?”

“I mean, I had a feeling after the second day when you checked up on me and brought me dinner, but I became certain after the arboretum visit,” you confessed, somewhat easier now that you saw his reaction, and he didn’t deny it. Maybe the only one who needed convincing about one’s feelings was you about your own. “You didn’t even tell me why you remembered that glasshouse presentation of mine, so after I did some analysing and calculating of our three years together, that’s the conclusion I reached.”

Despite your voice not wavering, your heart was going wild, thumping against your ribcage. You didn’t know why because you knew he liked you, and you liked him too, but still… You could barely process your own feelings, let alone his feelings towards you, and now you saw all the little interactions you had with him before in a whole new light.

“And is that a satisfactory conclusion for you?” He quirked an eyebrow, both amused and uncertain, and the way he played along was all there was to say about your dynamics.

“Yes, because I feel the same way.”

“What kind of same way?” Leehan teased as he took a step closer to you, purposefully making you say it out loud. You heaved a sigh, looking away from his gorgeous face to be able to pull yourself together before you looked back and said:

“You know… I like you, too,” you blurted out as fast as you could, and you were awarded with his cutest toothy smile, dimples popping out, eyes turning into little crescents. Something that you had not seen him display around any girl before, and the fact that it was for you made you feel a bit emotional.

“Of course,” he mused as he reached out, and his fingers started playing with yours resting on the railing, testing the waters. Maybe a few days ago you would have said that you were unable to move because it was so sudden, so unexpected, but now you knew that it was because it was him, and because one touch of his electrified you from head to toe. “I knew you weren’t immune to me either,” he added playfully, and you were about to smack him in the chest, but he caught your hand, and intertwined your fingers instead.

And you let him tease you as much as he wanted, at least for now.

Next day rolled by quickly, and it was already time to leave. You couldn’t deny that you came here, hating even the idea of being in this city, let alone Leehan’s family’s hotel, but now, you were reluctant to leave because leaving meant leaving him behind.

“It’s just for the summer, Leehan,” you reminded him when he was sulking to you in the hotel lobby, but it seemed like he wasn’t convinced. He tried to make you stay for at least a few more days because he wouldn’t go back with the rest of you to Seoul, but you told him that you were invited to a few events with your family in the next week, so you had to go back. Plus, you were volunteering during the summer at the children’s ward in a local hospital, but you reassured him that you could squeeze some time in to come back to Busan.

“But still… we’ve only just begun,” he whimpered like a child, his fingers playing with yours as you were standing face-to-face. Even yesterday, he could barely let go of you when he walked you back to your room, and today, he was being clingy, too. No wonder the whole class knew by now that you two were together.

“You know, there’s this thing called technology. We can text, videochat, whatever you want.”

“But it won’t be the same as seeing my pretty girlfriend in person,” he protested with an all too cute pout, and even though you should have been prepared for compliments like this from him, you weren’t.

Yechan walked by you with an audible cough, followed by Ricky and Gyuvin. Gyuvin’s eyes widened comically when he saw Leehan’s fingers holding onto yours, and he turned to his friends, asking since when you two were a thing.

“Dude… you’re like three years behind,” Yechan snickered into his hands, watching Gyuvin’s meme-like surprised face with amusement. Ricky just looked at him, probably wondering how they ended up becoming friends.

“Wait! Have they been together all these years?”

You couldn’t help a laughter bubbling up in your chest as the three of them walked out of the hotel. There were a few girls afterwards who giggled when they saw you two so close to each other, but no one said anything hurtful. Maybe they indeed knew all along.

“I really gotta go now. You know, since my vice-president won’t be with me, I’ll have to do the attendance check alone.”

“Since when was I ‘your’ vice-president, hmm?” Leehan asked with a smirk, leaning closer to you to watch your face crumble from up-close, then flush, dressing your cheeks in a ruby-red cover.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Oh, you did.”

“I didn’t, you heard it wrong.”

“I heard it very clearly, you called me your vice-president, and I-”

Whatever Leehan was about to say was muffled by the kiss you planted on his left cheek in an attempt to shut him up and leave the topic as it is. However, the boy completely froze, and he only managed to pull himself together when you eventually walked away from him to get on the school bus.

Then, he was in full-on puppy mode, waving at the bus with his toothy smile, his eyes turning to little crescents again. Your favourite sight, you decided right then and there.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think!

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loserlvrss · 4 months ago

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꒰ 𝐀𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐋 ꒱ 김동현

summary : you had just woken up from a bad dream, but your boyfriend was there to comfort you in your time of need

genre : angst, hurt-comfort, fluff, leehan x gn!reader tws : angst, mentions of neglect, alluded ptsd, mentions of emotional abuse, emetophobia, suicidal ideations/death, depression, alluded panic/anxiety disoders, language author notes : this has nothing to do with personal experiences, i swear (i need a leehan in my life) word count : 1.1k

“hey,” you felt a gentle stir, delicate hands rolling you over to be pressed against his warmth—when all you felt was cold and empty.

you blinked away the sleep, your eyes stinging slightly. “are you okay?” he asked, thumbs coming up to brush under your upper cheeks. “you were crying.”

you were foggy—not knowing the difference between reality and the inside of your brain—still half asleep. you’d never felt more neglected within your own head. the dreams you had, had caused actual tears to flow from your eyes. and the worst part, it wasn’t even a scene you could scratch off as being untrue… because it’s happened to you. it was your history that replayed throughout the night.

memories of your parents being hurtful. memories of them not caring about your feelings. memories of them being emotionally abusive, and dismissing to your tears. memories that caused you to resent them. memories that kept you from feeling normal. memories you’d rather forget.

you thought you’d gotten over it…

and, maybe at one time, you had. but regression was a natural thing you couldn’t escape. you can’t always have good days (or dreams, for that matter).

sometimes they caused you to get into your own headspace, and when triggered, panic. you weren’t a stranger to falling victim to thoughts you were molded to have, but they never hurt any less. and, you guess, time isn’t always a healer, like people say it is.

you sniffled, finding solace in what you knew was true; what was right in front of you. leehan. the boyfriend who vowed to take care of you in your time of need. the kind soul who didn’t get scared and run away when he saw you hyperventilating on the bathroom floor. the man who stepped into your life and shut the door behind him. the rock who kept you grounded when you felt light headed. the arms that kept you comforted when you felt unwanted. the love that never left you, even when you’d argue. the stars that he took from the sky, and put into your eyes, to remind you of how bright you are to him. the words that reminded you that you deserved someone as perfect as him, when you remembered being told that you were never good enough.

he was everything you needed, and everything you (at one point) wished you could be.

“i’m okay," you repeated comforting words he’d told you before. "it was just a dream.” yet, your heart hurt, and your stomach turned, and you couldn’t help thinking about them still, though you tried not to.

you tried to will your faucet to turn off, you tried everything to get the tears to stop falling. but, what was comforting, was knowing that his smooth fingers were always there to wipe them away… for however long it took.

“yeah?” he asked, lips coming down over your face, kissing various parts; under each eye, your nose and forehead, until lastly your lips. “it might’ve been just a dream, but i can see that it hurts.” he whispered. “what was it about?”

“i-i,” he stayed silent, ready to listen while letting you take your time. he pulled your head into the crook between his shoulder and neck, putting you to rest. his arms caged you against his body, chest to chest; pressure to stop you from panicking. he could feel your beating heart as you tried to speak—as he tried to comfort you the way you started to gradually let him. “it was them.”

you alluded the reason, but he needed no further context. he knew. he always knows.

he once stayed up all night researching and reading people’s stories on depression and panic disorders; he could tell you all about the chemical imbalances and what synapsis misfire in the brain now. he once stayed up all night watching you sleep, jumping at any sudden (or-not-so) movements; he could recount every time your breath hitched, and eyebrows came together that night. he once stayed up all night to understand something he’s never experienced—to better understand you.

your tears started to run faster, and at one point he had almost gotten emotional too. he hated to see you hurt, because he knew how special you really were. he hated to see you try and undo the coding your parents had programmed you with as you grew up. but, despite that, he knew he’d always be the one to hold you tight, and remind you that you didn’t have to contort yourself to fit into his world—you were his world.

the good, bad, and exceptionally ugly.

he loved you as the snot coated your bottom lip. he loved you as you drooled in your sleep. he loved you when you swayed with the music in your headphones, doing miscellaneous tasks. he loved you when you’d smile so wide it made your cheeks hurt. he loved you when you’d wretch over the toilet, your hair in his hands. he loved you when you were curled up on the shower floor, crying your eyes out. he loved you when you’d talk about nothing, and everything, all at once. and, he wished he could take away every bad memory, replace them, and make you feel like you deserved to be on this planet.

nonetheless, he’d spend his whole life reminding you—of that, he was more than sure.

his heart beat for you; you were his twin flame that burned blindingly bright. you were his red string and olive theory. you were his other half. you were his soulmate that he was lucky the stars aligned for.

he was lucky to have you, and he’ll be damned if you ever thought anything else.

he’d never let you be alone again. he’d never let you stand at the edge of the cliff by yourself. he’d never let you jump. he’d never let anything take you away from him—and if it ever came down to it, he’d proudly hold your hand and topple over the edge with you.

it was you and him until the end of time, and then whatever came after that.

“don’t ever forget,” he mumbled, pulling you closer to him. he’d let you cry into his shoulder the entire night, until your eyes were red and puffy, until you finally had enough. no matter how many of his shirts you soaked through with tears and snot. no matter how much it broke his heart, because he knows deep-down it heals yours just a little bit more. “i love you.”

and, he’d never stop saying it. even after you two were buried in a stone garden together, cold and rotten. a pile of nothingness. he’d still love you like it was the first time; blood, teeth, bones and all.

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minjify · 4 months ago

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LOVE LANGUAGES ʚɞ ot6

BOYNEXTDOOR — ot6 synopsis love languages they mostly show p bnd x reader g established relationships skinship fluff petnames not proofread w 600

notes ; first post yayy

박성호 — PARK SUNGHO

words of affirmation

“has anyone ever told you how lucky they are to have you in their lives?”

that caught you off guard. you knew it shouldn’t come as a surprise anymore but it always does. his tendency to suddenly say things like that.

he had no idea how much it affects you, the love for him you already had kept filling up much more with every word he says.

“no” you say, nonchalantly, however, “you’re the first one i think” if only he knew how loud your heart was beating right now. or how you were fighting all the urge to kiss him at that moment.

“well i should say it more often then” he says, then going back to taking a spoonful of his food like he didn’t just uttered words that would keep you awake at night.

김동현 — KIM DONGHYUN

quality time

no matter how busy you both can be, leehan will find a way to be beside you. knocking on your door on a random thursday finding you slumped over your textbooks.

he would promptly drag you out of your room ignoring your groans and complaints. grabbing your jacket out of your closet and draping it over your figure.

“i need to study, hannie”

“you need a quick break, babe” he would say softly before sliding in your shoes and tying the shoelaces.

20 minutes later, you both ended up hand in hand savoring the ice cream under the sun by the park. leehan listening to you rambling about whatever has been going on with your life and smiling dumbly.

한동민 — HAN DONGMIN

physical touch

taesan didn’t notice it, but even if you two are together silence would usually seep in between your small talks.

you both would just suddenly stop talking and ultimately you, yourself would end up sleeping sprawled on top of him while on the couch.

it was still sunny outside, but the open curtains and the breeze and maybe the feel of taesan holding you had lulled you.

his hands firmly on your waist, rubbing smooth circles, unaware you were already dozed off, far too engrossed into the article he picked up.

his hand subconsciously trails up to lay on your head, patting and carving his fingers through.

when he finds out you were fast asleep he’d attempt to carry you to the bedroom so you’d feel more comfortable. just for him to end up cuddling you closer.

“sleep well, baby”

이상혁 — LEE SANGHYEOK

gift giving

riwoo would get you gifts at any moment he deems commendable. if it weren’t for his whines to get you to open the gifts you reckon your living room can be filled with just the mailboxes he get shipped to your house.

would never let you buy anything with your money under his watch. he got to know the things you liked and if anything reminded him of you, he’d immediately buy it with just one look.

“it’s okay, baby, it looks cute on you” smiling at your pout, admiring the way the glasses perched adorably on your nose.

after you decide it wasn’t all that bad, he offered to buy you a few more pairs only to get turned down by a firm ‘no’.

he’d show up at your doorstep a week later, however, with two or maybe three boxes on his hands. ready for them to be tried on.

명재현 — MYUNG JAEHYUN

acts of service

your nature of always being a hard worker especially at school burdened not only you at times, but jaehyun as well. well, not entirely, but he felt that burden anyway.

he hated two things — seeing you hunched over papers and textbooks and second, your awfully heavy backpack that you just have to bring to school everyday.

jaehyun always wondered why you couldn’t have left some of the books at school or at home, but whenever he brought it up you’d just brush it off continuing to carry your bag all the way home.

he kept up with it for some time. until it annoyed him to lengths and he’d end up holding the bag for you anyway. even if you had tried to reach back for it with a few curses and a hit on his arm.

“you shouldn’t carry this much, your back will hurt” he mumbles, looking away. “let me carry them for you, i’m stronger anyway”

김운학 — KIM WOONHAK

physical touch

you were never keen of too much touching. there were definitely a lot of other ways to show your affection towards someone and you felt that excessive skinship was not your personal favorite.

that was until you met woonhak. even before dating he was already clingy, not as close as he is now but clingy enough.

he needs to be holding you some way, feeling like something’s out of place if he didn’t. and it grew on you. whenever you both were out or just conveniently together, his elbows would be touching yours or your hands would be intertwined.

woonhak loved late study nights, but not for the obvious reasons. he loves when you both would take the bus ride back home and you’d fall asleep on his shoulder. it was one if the moments where he realizes you felt completely safe with him and he can’t help but adore you much more.

he loves the way you would slowly blink your eyes open confusedly when he softly wakes you up as the bus arrives at your stop and how, for a change, you’d get clingy instead of him.

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000-pawz · 6 months ago

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mission p.s.h is a-go! (p.sh) ˚ · .

park sungho x fem!reader (she/her), college au, art major! reader, art major!sungho, reader is so lovesick, sungho is a nervous wreck, ft. lovingly-bothersome sidekick jaehyun + mom friend roommate yujin, shy extrovert sungho, not so shy extrovert reader <3, mutual pining, puppy love, first kisses, jaehyun has a lot of piercings because why not, the world is your wingman, a story about friendship and first loves!!!!, romantic comedy

warnings: suggestive scene (mdni pleek), some sex jokes, cursing, drinking

wc: 11.3k+

playlist ⋆｡˚ "a girl like me" by flowerovlove, "wishlist" by txt, "stylish" by loona, "blooming in the morning" by spool, "serenade" by boynextdoor

a/n: i have been working on this for.... forever..... >3< but it's finally here!!! <3 happy bonedo first anniversary to all who celebrate! also tysm for 100+ followers!!! ^___^ ur support means everything to me. i had so much fun writing this and i hope you guys have even more fun reading!!!

DEAR DIARY

11:44 a.m | weather: partly cloudy

dear diary,

so today has already gone to absolute shit!!!! i missed my morning lecture because i forgot to put my phone on the charger so it fucking died in the middle of the night and then i realized that my period started 4 days early and i ran out of pain killers and i didn’t have any time to stop by the health center and get some but even if i’m physically dying and rotting away, i HAVE to get my usual chai tea with three pumps vanilla and 1 pump brown sugar but THEN i dropped my chai tea with three pumps vanilla and 1 pump brown sugar in the middle of the courtyard and i was already late to my next class so i didn’t have time to go back and get another one and then i finally make it to fucking studio arts and my usual spot is taken by some sleeping rando who ISN’T EVEN IN THIS CLASS. WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE??? so then i was forced to sit in the back of class and use that stupid squeaky easel that literally wobbles when you BREATHE on it and all of this happened BEFORE 12 O’CLOCK!!!! now i’m—

“watcha writing?” an all too playful voice sounds right behind you, way too close for comfort and you don’t even bother to look up—you already know who it is by the irritating jingle of his dangly jewelry and the snicker that bubbles out of his throat at your annoyed expression.

“fuck off, jaehyun,” you mumble as you continue to recount your horrible day while you wait for the first layer of paint on your easel to dry, the obnoxiously hot pink pen in your hand scribbling ferociously against the white page of your diary. you hear another irksome laugh leave his body before the chair beside you squeaks as someone pulls it out.

“shh, don’t disturb her. she’s poetically releasing her emotions...” out the corner of your eye, you see yujin glance down at your page before slightly wincing, setting her watercolors down on the table slowly. “or something…”

jaehyun takes a seat at the table in front of you, sitting backward in his chair to take a closer look at what you’re writing—any semblance of privacy was long dismissed once you became friends with the two at the beginning of the school year. freshman move-in day had been possibly one of the worst experiences of your life, all thanks to the maltipoo puppy jaehyun tried to sneak into the residence hall and yujin’s immense fear of dogs. you guys have been inseparable since.

trauma bonding, you think.

jaehyun flicks some of his brown hair out of his vision as his face contorts into something sour. “woah, when did the grinch take over your body?”

yujin scoots away and jaehyun raises his hands in surrender as you suddenly slam your diary shut, mentally rolling your eyes at their antics.

“woah, when will you learn to stay out of my business?” you shoot towards jaehyun with the straightest face ever, his lips frowning as you slide your diary off of the table and into your bag.

“hey, don’t take your anger out on me, grumpy pants.”

and that just so happens to be your final straw—like those mundane moments where you’re having the worst day known to man and then all of a sudden your key doesn’t want to fit in the keyhole and now you want to rip your door off of the hinges—and jaehyun is now that door. you lunge at the pierced man, going straight for his jugular, but yujin is quick to wrap her arms around your waist, pulling you back down into your seat as she shushes you.

“breathe, y/n, breathe,” yujin speaks in her exaggerated yoga instructor voice, the deep one that makes her sound like she’s high on shrooms. you close your eyes, forcing yourself to think of kittens and rainbows as your shoulders slowly untense. “there we go. smell the tulips and blow out the candles. that’s right. smell the tulips and blow out the—”

“why can’t they be roses?”

your eyes immediately snap open like a vampire at the smell of blood, meeting jaehyun’s highly entertained and highly aggravating expression.

“jaehyun, we talked about this. tulips smell better than ro—”

yujin’s voice is drowned out in your ears once a tall, raven-haired figure strolls into the studio. everything in the background fades to a blur as he makes his way to his usual sketching table, just a few seats away from where you reside. from here, you have a perfect view of his side profile, the sunlight streaming through the open windows lighting up his face heavenly.

any anger in your body dissipates on the spot.

he’s wearing a baby blue knit sweater—the same sweater he wore on tuesday last week (...not that you remember or anything!)—with baggy light-washed jeans that adorn a little eevee pokemon charm hanging from his front belt loop. the black converse on his feet match yours and you try not to squeal at the slight prospect of a couple's outfit. slung over his body is the green satchel that he seems to take everywhere with him, filled to the brim with notebooks and art supplies.

his black hair is messy and a little longer than the last time you have seen him. it curls over his eyebrows and down his neck, some tucked behind his naturally flushed ears. his eyelashes are so full, and even though his eyes are slightly obscured by the thin, circular glasses that sit on his nose, you can still make out the delicate shadow they cast onto his doughy cheeks. you wonder if he has a skincare routine from how smooth his skin looks, almost picture-esque as the sunrays illuminate a halo above his head. you swear a chorus of angels begin to sing in your ears.

he’s taking out his sketchpad now, and you watch the way he adjusts his glasses ever so slightly before lining up his charcoal pencils in order of point size next to his page. you’ve never gotten to see his art up close, but you’ve picked up on the fact his medium has always been a pencil of some sort—let it be graphite, pigmented colors, carbon—and you crave to see what his nimble fingers can create. his lips are pressed into a thin line as he completely submerges himself into that little bubble you notice he goes into when he starts to draw.

you think he looks the most handsome when he’s immersed like this.

you don’t realize you’re staring until you blink and register that park sungho, aka the man of your dreams, aka the most gorgeous person to ever walk these streets, aka an angel from above, is staring directly at you. with this new angle, you can fully see his pouted heart-shaped lips and slightly puffy face—he must’ve just woken up. he’s so perfect, in every way possible. your heart nearly crawls up your throat as he sends a tiny smile your way, his eyes bunching up cutely at the corners. you almost raise your hand to wave back before a voice cuts through your dazed state.

“hey, sungho!” jaehyun calls, waving his hand frantically, the many bracelets on his wrists jingling with the movement; and said sungho waves in response, contained and shy, before turning his attention back to his sketchpad. while you’re slightly disappointed that sungho hadn’t been looking at you, you mentally thank jaehyun for saving you from could’ve-been detrimental embarrassment.

you slightly deflate, slumping back down into your chair with a tiny huff—and jaehyun watches you from beginning to end, a knowing look in his eyes.

“look, y/n’s upset her little boobie bear didn’t—”

this time, you grab your barbie-esque pen and chuck it squarely at jaehyun’s nose, the plastic clinking against his nose ring. you hear yujin giggling from beside you, jaehyun shooting her a hopeless look of betrayal.

“you set yourself up for that one, myung,” she speaks before she gets up to fill her paint cup with water. jaehyun rolls his eyes with a scoff, quickly turning his attention back to you—much to your dismay.

“you should try to talk to him. he’s really nice, trust me,” jaehyun suggests with a little wiggle of his eyebrows, not-so-subtly nodding his head in sungho’s direction. your eyes can’t help but trail back over to the tall man’s frame, nearly swooning at the way he pushes his glasses up his nose with his pinky finger, squinting his eyes slightly despite the lenses as his pencil glides across the paper like a ballerina.

fuck, he’s so cute. you want to die.

“i don’t even think he knows my name,” you sigh, almost dreamily as you spectate from afar. the way he readjusts his grip on the pencil every few seconds, and the way his knee bounces unrhythmically under the table, his pokemon charm shaking with the movement. his bottom lip is caught in between his teeth now and you’re sure you might pass out as he reaches up to run his fingers through his hair, the fluffy locks falling back into place slowly as they nearly defy gravity.

oh, park sungho. you don’t know how perfect you are.

“girl, you look like a stalker,” yujin appears beside you once again, multiple watercolor brushes knocking against each other as they swim in her now water-filled cup. it’s your turn to glare this time, crossing your arms over your chest as you manage to slump even further in your seat—you aren’t sure how you haven’t fallen to the floor yet.

“i can’t help it! just… look at him,” you whine pitifully, trying to keep your voice down as you glance at him one last time. yup, still gorgeous.

jaehyun groans loudly from his spot, his bracelets clanking as he grips his hair with both hands.

“i am going to bash my head into this table if you don’t speak to him. i don’t know how much more sungho mushy-gushy talk i can take,” he complains, his eyes wide and faux-crazed as he lightly tugs his hair. he looks stupid as hell—you’ve always thought jaehyun resembles the annoying orange.

“that’s if sungho doesn’t decide to run away before she can even open her mouth.”

and there it goes. the real reason why you’ve never gotten the chance to speak to your puppy-love crush.

it’s a strange phenomenon actually, the way park sungho seems to avoid you like the plague. at first, you thought he was just incredibly shy. maybe he had chronic social anxiety, in which, you wouldn’t blame him at all—you were the exact same way before you got to college, so it would make perfect sense. he’s just a shy, shy guy who doesn’t intend on making small talk; and that would’ve been just fine with you.

but then you saw him interact with like… everyone else in the entire world, and decided to rule out that option because—what? he shows up to every single birthday party he’s invited to, says hi to all of his friends as he passes them on campus, and he even complimented your brooding english professor’s tie once! so there’s no way park sungho doesn’t know how to interact with other humans.

it’s just you. he doesn’t want to interact with you.

not to be selfish and arrogant or anything, but it’s truly a huge blow to your pride. you’ve always considered yourself to be a pretty likable person—maybe a little off-kilter, but not to the point where it literally makes people pack up their things and leave as soon as you enter the room. and yes, sungho has done that before.

so now you’re stuck in this predicament where you can’t go one night without falling asleep to the idea of holding park sungho’s lovely hand and kissing his squishy cheek and touching his luscious hair, when—in truth, horrible, horrible truth—this exact park sungho doesn’t even want to see your face.

once snapped back into reality, the realization rebirths all of your anger—at the world, at yourself, at sungho “loml” park. yujin mumbles out a little half-assed apology that you completely dismiss and jaehyun snickers as he rises to a stand, throwing something over his shoulder about how he all of a sudden has a sculpture he needs to get started on before he disappears from your sight.

he doesn’t even know how to sculpt.

when you look up, you see jaehyun giving sungho a little goodbye pat on the back, in which sungho returns with a little “see you later” and a smile that bunches his cheeks up like bread rolls. damn you park sungho and your adorable, adorable cheeks.

this is definitely going in your diary tonight.

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

or at least you thought it would be going in your diary tonight.

because currently, as of 7:28 pm local time, you can’t seem to find that sparkly pink journal anywhere.

you checked your tote bag, yujin’s bag, jaehyun’s giant pockets, under your seat in the art studio, the cafeteria, and even asked around hoping someone’s heard of it through word-of-mouth—and yet, nothing. no sign of your journal at all.

if you were thinking rationally, you would have maybe thought to check your dorm room. you did end up having lunch in there with the blinds closed after your shitty day and the overwhelming need to disappear from society. or, you might have left it in your french language class because you had pulled it out mid lecture to complain about your horrible view from the very back row. it might have even fell out on your bus ride to the small dimsum restaurant located on the outskirts of your campus.

but you have been on the edge of snapping since the very moment you woke up this morning, and if you thought jaehyun’s little quips earlier brought you to your limit, then losing your diary now broke the meter.

you glumly take a seat on an unoccupied bench outside of the arts building, trying your best to hold in your tears at the absolute wreck this day has become. no chai tea, early period, squeaky easel, park sungho not even knowing your name—

“um, y/n?”

as soon as the first tear rolls down your cheek, your hear that all too familiar voice in your ears, a tall shadow blocking the slight rays of the moon in the distance. everything feels unreal, almost hallucinatory as your lift your head to see the man of all your dreams standing right in front of you with a shy smile on his perfect, perfect face.

as soon as he locks eyes with you though, his smile falters, his lips turning down into one of the softest frowns you’ve ever seen grace such an angelic face. snapping yourself out of your mini daze, you reach up with the sleeve of your jacket to quickly wipe your eyes.

not now tear ducts! the love of your life is in your vicinity! and he knows your name!

“hey, sungho! hi,” you rush out in one breath, hoping your voice isn’t too shaky.

“are you…” sungho’s question starts off as a small mumble, but he quickly cuts himself off with a tiny shake of his head. “n-nevermind. i just wanted to give this to you.”

you watch him as he digs around in his green satchel for a second before pulling out something bright pink, the street lights reflecting off of the sparkles. you feel your heart leap in your chest at the sight, jumping up from your seat.

“my journal! oh my god, thank you! where did you find it?” you quickly speak as sungho passes you your journal.

“it was in the art studio. i promise i didn’t read any of it so… yea.”

his fingers lightly brush yours for a split second and the end of his sentence falters a bit. you try not to read into it, but this moment is definitely, for sure going in your journal tonight. your first ever, longer-than-30-seconds encounter with the love of your life. totally disregarding the fact that he saw you crying…

you clutch the notebook to your chest as you give him a bright beam, trying to keep all of the squealing and fawning locked away in your mind. sungho looks incredibly gorgeous in the low ray of evening lights, strands of his shiny hair tucked behind his ear and falling over his forehead. as the wind blows, you’re able to get a whiff of the sweet cologne he always wears, vanilla and another hidden tone that mixes perfectly.

“thank you, sungho. really, thank you.” your voice is soft as you meet his sparkling eyes; they’re deep and mesmerizing, glittering with stardust as he mirrors your smile. he nods ever so slightly before gripping his satchel strap with both of his hands.

“um, yea. it’s no problem,” he speaks through a small puff of nervous laughter. you’re surprised you haven't melted to the ground in a puddle of love-ridden goo yet. “have a good night.”

“you too!” you say a little too enthusiastically. sungho simply nods again before he turns on his heel to leave towards the direction he came in. suddenly, he stops, turning back around to face you.

“i… my dorm is that way,” he rushes out before speedwalking past you without giving you a second glance. you hold back a giggle at his cute slip up, covering your mouth with your hand.

he. is. so. cute. you want to scream the words to the sky. as soon as sungho disappears around the corner, you wip out your phone, your heart pounding in your chest.

to: dumb and dumber

guys. you’ll never fucking guess what just happened.

MISSION P.S.H

6:15 a.m | weather: clear skies

dear diary,

i dreamt of him. again. please kill me already.

“...and then i was like what? because that was the same guy i hooked up with last week!” yujin spills as she dramatically reenacts her encounter at some party she went to last night. you’re having lunch with your friends in the courtyard, the chatter of students, bikes, and overhead planes mixing with the warm breeze.

“i told you he was a fuckboy. and then you called me an annoying virgin,” jaehyun deadpans as he takes a bite out of his sandwich, shrugging his shoulders. you laugh at their bickering from the other side of the table, looking back down at your journal where you are currently doodling the scene in front of you, but with yujin and jaehyun as cats.

yujin rolls her eyes, opening her mouth to rebuttal, but she stops herself as her eyes catch onto something over your shoulder. you watch as her eyes widen toward you, immediately catching onto what that stare means.

‘park sungho incoming. act normal!’

you sit up straighter, trying to act nonchalant as sungho strolls up to your table. as naturally as possible, you lift your gaze toward him, your breath catching in your throat as soon as your eyes lock onto his figure.

today, he’s in a simple white t-shirt, zip-up, and jeans with his classic green satchel, but to you, he looks other-worldly. the sun shines brightly above his head, casting a spotlight onto him as if he were standing solo on a stage. you envision red rose petals falling around him in slow motion as he blinks, his long eyelashes tickling his cheeks with the movement. his skin is slightly flushed from the humid air, his lips full and plush as a smile stretches across his perfect face.

he’s going to be the death of me, you think, holding back a dreamy sigh.

“i brought those references you asked for,” sungho directs towards jaehyun with his silky smooth voice, reaching into his satchel to pull out a blue folder of papers. you get deja vu, recalling the way his fingers brushed yours last night (and yes, you recapped the moment to yujin and jaehyun at least three times since then.)

“oh, thanks bro! i totally forgot about these,” jaehyun speaks, grabbing the folder from sungho’s perfect hands. “hey, are you still going to riwoo’s party on saturday?”

“yeah, i’ll be there. see you then?”

“yup! i’m dragging these two along with me.” sungho nods with a small smile before his eyes catch onto yujin.

“your shirt is dope, yujin. i love that band,” sungho compliments and yujin quickly jumps into a recap of how she went to their concert last week. sungho says something about him also being there with a friend and all of it goes through one ear and out of the other. “anyways, i’ll see you guys around.”

sungho gives your table one last smile, his eyes catching onto yours for a split second before he merges off into the crowd of students. the table is silent for a few beats and both of your friends turn their eyes to you, just waiting for you to say something. you sigh as you stare off into the direction sungho disappeared in, resting your cheek in your palm.

“is he avoiding me? he has to be avoiding me… like he talks to you guys but pretends like i’m not even there!” you speak through a dejected pout. yujin eyes you with something akin to pity, completely contrasting jaehyun whose face is decorated with an annoying smile.

“it’s ‘cause he’s afraid that if he looks you in the eyes, you might eat his soul.”

you completely disregard jaehyun’s comment, running through all of the possible explanations for his behavior in your mind. does he have a secret partner? or maybe he doesn’t like the smell of your perfume? what if he thinks you are butt-fuck ugly and a pain to look at? no… it’s definitely not that. you remind yourself to give your reflection an apology when you get back to your dorm.

your eyes slowly increase in size as you sit up, a eureka moment taking over your train of thought. the gasp that leaves your lips is a little too loud for a public, communal space, but it doesn’t even register in your brain.

you’ve got it all figured out.

“guys…” you start ominously, smiling widely at your friends as you brace your hands on the table. “i think he’s playing hard to get.”

jaehyun and yujin stare at you half-incredulously and half-amused, a puff of laughter even passing through jaehyun’s lips while yujin has to turn away to muffle her giggles.

“yu, i think she’s finally lost it.”

you shake your head quickly. “no, no, guys, it all makes sense. i caught him staring at me in class once—”

“anyone would stare if they saw a free-roaming demon in a college art course.”

“jaehyun, i will literally cut your tongue off.”

jaehyun pouts his snakebite-accented lips, turning to yujin with pleading eyes as he gestures towards you on the other side of the table. “did you hear her? that’s actually a threat this time. a real threat.”

yujin sighs, half-heartedly patting jaehyun’s shoulder twice to console him before giving her full attention to you.

“y/n… i think it’s time to have ‘the talk’.”

you blink blankly at yujin before glancing over at jaehyun who is nodding along to said woman’s words, a playfully solemn look on his face.

“what ‘talk’?... look, if this is about sex, i already know how babies are made so…”

“no, no, not that talk. the park sungho talk,” yujin explains, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of yours. this feels like some weird group therapy session, and to be honest, your best friends are really starting to creep you out in the way that they seem to communicate silently through their eyes.

what the fuck is going on?

“let me explain it to you in simple terms,” jaehyun sits up straight before dramatically clearing his throat. “park sungho plus girlfriend equals no-no. nada. never happened. park sungho plus crush equals ‘AHHHHHHHHH! THE WORLD IS ENDING!’. park sungho see you. park sungho ‘AHHHHHHH!!!!’”

jaehyun shouts in a high-pitched girly voice before doing a little running away motion, covering his eyes as he pretends to tremble before going back to normal.

now it’s time for both you and yujin to stare blankly at jaehyun—the latter looks incredibly proud of himself nonetheless, his chest puffed out confidently after his little performance. you slowly turn your gaze to yujin’s figure, motioning towards jaehyun next to her.

“can i get a translation or something…?”

yujin sighs before flicking jaehyun’s nose ring, resulting in a drowned out complaint about the both of you “teaming up on him” or whatever. you both don’t pay him any mind though—you have bigger things to worry about, such as—

“basically, what he’s trying to say is that sungho has a crush on you, but he’s scared because he’s never had a girlfriend before and he freaks out around you. so he… flees like a little baby rabbit when you’re near him,” yujin concludes with a bright smile, clasping her hands together.

okay.

this is not what you were expecting to hear during your wednesday afternoon lunch break. everything you’ve ever known, everything you’ve forced yourself to believe comes crumbling down all at once.

park sungho has a crush on you.

wait.

“and no one has thought to tell me this until now?” you breathe out, your eyes as wide as saucers. jaehyun shrugs, picking up his sandwich to take a bite.

“well, it’s kind of something we found out like today,” jaehyun speaks through a mouthful of lettuce and bacon, yujin nodding along next to him.

“you know han taesan from our literature class?” yujin asks, leaning towards you as she lowers her voice. you search your fried brain for any familiarity, humming in thought for a second before it clicks.

“the one who dresses like a wannabe kurt cobain?”

“yes, him. so basically, sungho confessed to him about his crush on you. and jaehyun and i, who were magically sitting behind mr. han, just so happened to accidentally see their text messages. so. yeah,” yujin explains.

the silence is loud.

“so what i’m hearing is you guys violated someone’s privacy and now you’re telling me their classified business?” you speak, blinking blankly between then.

“...yes?” jaehyun replies slowly with a guilty smile. you look at them for a few seconds before reaching your hands out for highfives.

“i knew i could trust you guys,” you affirm as you double highfive them both, jaehyun letting out a little woop woop. “so, what do i do now? i obviously can’t just walk right up to him and ask him out. i’m gonna need a plan if i’m ever going to get him to willingly talk to me.”

“oh, i’m already ten steps ahead of you, babygirl. mission p.s.h is a-go,” jaehyun declares, pulling out his phone. you tilt your head in pure confusion and you’re sure the crinkle between your brows is apparent.

“mission p—what?”

jaehyun sighs with exasperation—as if you were the cause of all of his troubles in the world—before placing his phone on the table. “mission park sungho. come on, let’s use our head, idiot.”

“i will smash your head into—”

“you will do none of those things,” yujin interrupts with a stern motherly glare before turning to jaehyun. “now can you explain this mission park sungho thing because…?”

jaehyun rolls his eyes before leaning back in his seat with a sly smile on his lips.

“i began working on it last night and i was going to show you guys when i finished, but we’re in a dire, dire situation.” jaehyun sends you dramatically sympathetic eyes and you stick your tongue out at him in return. “it’s simple, really. we just set the bait, and like the little baby rabbit he is, he’ll bite the carrot. then, once our handy work is done, y/n and sungho will live happily ever after in their fairy princess castle. it’s foolproof.”

jaehyun concludes with a triumphant smile before he slowly slides his phone over towards you like a suspicious dealer. you raise a brow at him, but take the phone anyways.

“phase one, get his attention. so just like… get him jealous?” you ask, cocking your head. jaehyun nods quickly in response, his hair bouncing like an overly excited puppy.

“mhm, yup! i know a guy who’s perfect for this.”

“that sounds… sketchy… but a good idea nonetheless.” you squint your eyes a bit as you continue reading the almost illegible notes app ramble. “and then phase two…”

“get him alone. he’s going to be at riwoo’s party, right? right?” you and yujin nod in response. “so we find a way to get him and y/n alone so they can… you know…” jaehyun does some weird, obscure motion with his fingers and yujin gently places her hand on top of his to stop it immediately.

“this is literally phase two, myungjae. slow down,” yujin chastises before turning to you. “what do you think, y/n?”

“we may need to tweak phase two a bit, but this looks… surprisingly safe…” you mutter as you read through the plan once again. “why is phase three just a bunch of question marks and thinking emojis…?”

“i didn’t get to finish it. i had more important things to tend to last night,” jaehyun smiles menacingly. yujin gags and you groan, rolling your eyes.

“i don’t even wanna know,” you say, trying to clear your mind of whatever the hell he meant by that.

“i guess we’ll just figure something out when we get there?” yujin suggests, looking between you two for approval. you nod in agreement because, well, you’re running out of options here. sungho is one of the world’s most desirable bachelors! you can’t just wait around for another girl to come by and woo him. you need to get to work asap.

“don’t worry. i’ll come up with something. they don’t call me myungstein for nothing,” jaehyun runs his fingers through his hair cockily, trying to subtly flex his nonexistent muscles.

“literally no one… no one calls you that…” you trail off but keep the rest of your words to yourself. you owe it to him for making up this plan in the first place.

at this point, you’re going to run out of pages in your journal before the year ends.

PHASE ONE: GET HIS ATTENTION (easy enough, right?)

11:37 a.m | weather: sunny with a nice breeze

dear diary,

i’ve decided to listen to myung jaehyun for once. i apologize in advance to my future self. i’m desperate okay?!?!?!

“remember what we practiced?” jaehyun whispers to you as you stand outside of the campus cafe where sungho works. yujin is already stationed inside of the cafe to make sure everything goes well. through the big glass window, you see her sitting in the corner with a comically large newspaper and sunglasses sitting low on her nose. not suspicious at all.

“yes. flirt with that guy with the luscious hair and make sure sungho hears,” you recite the exact words jaehyun had told you on your walk here. jaehyun gives you an affirmative hum, dropping his hand onto your shoulder.

“okay, let’s practice right now. pretend i’m luscious hair guy,” you open your mouth to argue, but jaehyun is already getting into character, dramatically running his fingers through his hair, slipping a cartoonish shmoulder on his face. “hey, pretty lady.”

“jaehyun, that’s gross. no.”

“who’s jaehyun? is he your boyfriend? of course a beauty like you would already be taken,” he speaks in a low voice before biting his lip in the least seductive way possible.

you try not to gag at his words, shrugging his hand off of your shoulder. “i’m going in now. bye.”

drowning out jaehyun’s objections, you open the door of the cafe, the little bells above the door jingling with the movement. your eyes scan the cafe for a second before they land on a familiar figure making small talk with some guy as he serves him coffee. he looks so handsome in his work uniform, a white button-up and brown slacks with a matching brown apron. his hair is a little curlier than usual and he has on his glasses again today.

you definitely wouldn’t mind seeing this every day. maybe you should come to this cafe more often.

you try to calm the frantic beating of your heart as you give yujin a curt nod. she gives you one back before ducking behind the newspaper again. it’s go time.

it doesn’t take you long to spot “luscious hair guy”, seeing as he’s currently working the front register. he’s tall and attractive, the perfect bait. honestly, you have no idea what jaehyun bribed him with to get him to go with your plan, and honestly, you don’t really want to know.

you quickly adjust your clothes as you walk up to the counter. luscious hair guy’s eyes lock onto yours and you offer him an affable smile.

“hi!” you greet brightly before leaning in to quickly whisper the code word “p.s.h”. luscious hair guy nods quickly in recognition before the both of you get into character.

“hello! what can i get for you today?” he asks with a glimmering smile, leaning forward in interest. you pretend to think, tapping your lips as you glance up at the menu.

“hm… i’ve never been here before… what do you recommend?” you ask with a (hopefully) flirtatious smile. just then, you notice sungho slip behind the counter to put some dishes away, his eyes widening once he sees your face. it takes less than two seconds for him to duck his head away, turning his back to you as he frantically begins organizing some mugs.

“the vanilla caramel latte is really good,” leehan suggests, shooting you an award winning smile. someone get this guy a oscar!

“then i’ll get that,” you dramatically glance down at his name tag. “thanks, leehan.”

over the tall man’s shoulder, you notice sungho inconspicuously walk over to the front counter, his eyes flickering over to the both of you for a split second. he busies himself by adjusting the pastry display, but you can see him definitely listening in on your conversation.

“i’m sorry if this sounds odd, but you have a really beautiful smile,” leehan compliments shyly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck. you gasp before letting out a small giggle.

“wow, thank you!” you breathe out, blinking up at leehan coyly. “you’re pretty cute yourself.”

“that means a lot coming from a pretty girl like you.” in your peripheral, you see sungho slightly tense up, his entire body stilling for a moment. “i’ll get that right out for you.”

at those words words, sungho abruptly stands up, nearly slamming the display shut before going to wipe down tables. leehan smiles at you once sungho’s back is turned to the both of you, trying to hold in his laughter.

“he’s upset,” leehan mouths, nodding his head towards sungho who is currently aggressively scrubbing an already stainless table. perfect.

you head over to a vacant table, a few away from yujin, but still close enough to whisper “i think it’s working”. yujin lowers her sunglasses with a manicured nail, glancing over at sungho who is aggressively scrubbing another table; his lips are pouted and his eyebrows are slightly furrowed. she turns back to you with a knowing look, nodding her head.

you scroll on your phone for a bit, making sure to update jaehyun who had a presentation this afternoon. you’re sure that if he were free, he’d be in a wig and spectacles, adorned in a trench coat and briefcase right there with yujin. maybe his absence is for the better.

a few minutes later, you hear that all too familiar, lovely voice flow through the quiet buzz of the cafe. you look up from your phone to see leehan moving to plate your order with sungho hot on his heels.

“leehan, i can take that order for you,” sungho speaks, his gentle voice a little sharper around the edges. you see leehan brush him off with a warm smile, adjusting the mug on the tray.

“oh, it’s okay, i’ve got it,” he says, but sungho quickly cuts him off.

“no, no, i insist. really.” sungho gives leehan a tight-lipped smile before shooing him off to take another order. your eyes widen, quickly turning toward yujin who’s wiggling her eyebrows at you over the newspaper.

“it worked!” she mouths. you hide your smile behind your hand as you nod quickly before looking down at your phone to text jaehyun.

to: dumber

the fish has landed in the hole. or however that goes

when you finally look back up, sungho is making his way over to you, his bottom lip cutely caught between his teeth.

“oh, hi sungho!” you greet when he stops at your table, awkwardly holding the tray in front of his chest.

“hi, y/n. uh, here you go.” sungho gives you a shaky smile and you resist the urge to coo. he’s so cute, in the way his hands shake slightly as he lowers the mug and a slice of strawberry cake onto the table.

“oh, i didn’t order the cake!” you say, meeting his eyes. sungho nervously laughs as he tucks the now empty tray under his arm.

“it’s… um, it’s on the house,” he messily motions towards your table before gluing his arms back to his sides. “everything is.”

“really? you’re so sweet, sungho. thank you.” you think you are going to float out of your seat. he quickly looks away from your gaze after your compliment, redirecting his eyes to his shoes. his ears are slightly blushed on the tips, his circular glasses slipping down his nose slightly.

“don’t mention it,” he mumbles, his cheeks dusted an apple red that match his ears. “also, your um… your outfit is really nice.”

yup. you’re definitely floating.

“thank you so much! you look nice, too. i mean, you look nice in everything,” you giggle, watching the way sungho’s wide eyes shoot up to yours. he looks like a surprised kitten with the way his black curls fall into his face at the sudden movement. you get the sudden urge to gently brush them away, but you remind yourself of proper etiquette and keep your hands to yourself.

“that’s… that’s not true, but thank you,” he speaks quietly. you open your mouth to rebuttal, but sungho simply gives you a quick nod and scurries off back to the counter. you can’t even be disappointed this time—that little interaction was enough to feed your delusions for the next month and a half.

as soon as sungho makes it back behind the counter, you see him drop his head into his hands in embarrassment, shaking his head. leehan comes up behind him to give him a pat on the back, trying to hold in his laughter. the luscious haired guy gives you a thumbs up over sungho’s shoulder and you shoot him one back with a wide smile. mission accomplished, you guess as you take a bite of the fluffy cake.

so sweet.

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

5:14 p.m | weather: ANGELS SINGING FROM ABOVE

dear diary,

park sungho wrote his number on the napkin. i have park sungho's number. he gave me his number. we're sooooo back.

PHASE TWO: GET HIM ALONE (and not in the creepy way!!!)

if there was one thing about your best friends, it would be how hard they party. it’s not like you were a prude or anything—definitely not that—but these two took parties to a different level. you aren’t sure how long you’ve been dancing in between jaehyun and yujin, squeezed between other sweaty bodies as the music thrums through your veins. jaehyun’s hands are on your hips and yujin’s arms are wrapped around your shoulders as you laugh with your head thrown back, letting loose. there is no room to be shy when it comes to partying with them.

your friend riwoo went all out for this end of the semester party, it seems. he rented out a beach house that sits right along the shore and you’re pretty sure he invited more than half of your entire university. you already greeted the host with hugs and small talk before you went straight for the drinks. as the song playing through the speakers comes to an end, the dj announces that fireworks are going off at the beach at 2 a.m, so people start stumbling and filing out of the house to see the pretty lights and colors.

“you wanna get another drink?” yujin shouts into your ear and you nod quickly. you definitely aren’t drunk enough—especially for what you guys have planned tonight. phase two.

“i’m gonna go find sungho,” jaehyun manages to say in his already drunken state before disappearing into the crowd, greeting at least 3 people as he makes his way through. you grab yujin’s hand to tug her toward the nearly vacant kitchen. most of the drinks are outside at the beach, but this is all a part of the plan. you rummage around in the fridge hoping to find anything to calm your nerves.

“calm down, y/n. you look like you’re going to explode,” yujin laughs from behind you, leaning against the marble island.

“because i am. i’ve never been alone with him before. what if i say something stupid?” you whine, still searching for anything that isn’t soda or juice.

“...like you always do?” yujin quips back quickly. you pause to give her a tiny glare over your shoulder before you deflate, turning back to the fridge.

“...fair. but still! i really don’t want to mess this up,” you sigh. as if the fridge itself has begun to pity you, you end up finding something tucked away near the back, though you’re freaking out too much to even read the label. with a shrug, you uncap it and drink straight from the bottle.

“you got this. remember, he already likes you. i don’t think he can be saved at this point.”

“you’re right,” you say, looking down at your heels, but once her words fully process in your tipsy mind, your head snaps right back up “wait, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“it means that all you have to be is yourself. we’re all rooting for you!” yujin rushes over to plant a kiss on your cheek before patting your head. “now, i have an appointment upstairs, so i’ll see you later! keep me updated!”

“wait, yujin!” you call, but she’s already slipped right through your fingers. you huff as she disappears around the corner, her menacing giggles fading into the music like an evil villain. whatever. you have more important things to worry about right now—such as sungho entering the kitchen not even a beat later looking otherworldly.

your fingers nearly slip on the neck of the bottle as your eyes lock onto each other’s. sungho looks good. and by good, you mean you-want-to-jump-his-bones-right-here-right-now good.

his usually messy hair is pushed back and out of his face, a few strands falling onto his forehead. he’s ditched his glasses and his eyes look even more sharp and enticing like this—as if he’s staring straight into your soul. he’s wearing a cropped black tee with jeans, adorning multiple silver necklaces that shine against his skin. his soft lips are glossy from the drink in his hands, his cheek slightly flushed from the alcohol.

you’ve never seen him look like this before. the cute park sungho you’re so used to is somewhere dead in a ditch right now. god.

you can’t even speak as he shoots you a smile, his eyes softening with familiarity.

“hey,” he says, his gaze flickering to the bottle in your hands. “you alright there?”

you look down at your hands, quickly moving to place the bottle on the counter behind you with a guilty smile.

“yeah—yeah, no, i’m great. perfect, actually.” you find yourself stumbling over your own words. if you thought you weren’t drunk enough to handle this before, now you think you are too drunk to even process the sight in front of you.

“why’re you in here alone? everyone’s heading down to the beach,” sungho says as he rounds the island.

he has to be drunk, if not for the way he so boldly rakes his eyes over your body without shame. you swallow, blinking up at him. you can see him very obviously checking you out, his eyes running up the expanse of your exposed legs to the hem of your mini dress. he’s not too close, but you can still smell his vanilla-and-something-secret cologne with the proximity. you feel yourself grow weak in the knees, reaching back to hold onto the counter behind you.

“i could be asking you the same thing,” you shoot back, trying to regain your confidence as you catch his eyes. sungho lets out of a puff of laughter, dropping his gaze for a second before looking back up at you. you feel your heart catch in your throat at the way his eyelashes flutter so beautiful, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip absentmindedly.

“i guess i was looking for you,” he speaks quietly, so sincerely that you aren’t sure if he knows the effect he has on you right now.

“well, i’m here now,” you mumble back.

“yeah. you are.”

the silence in between you guys is incredibly heavy, dripping with unsaid words and you can’t seem to find any of them. they all feel stuck in your throat as sungho’s eyes flicker in between yours. for once, he’s not the first one to break eye contact—and you even watch as he takes a few steps closer to you until he’s standing directly in front of you.

“y/n…” he whispers, leaning down so only you can hear him. his hair tickles your face and you find yourself frozen, unable to move. “can i… can i kiss you?”

okay, he’s definitely drunk. but so are you, so you have nothing to lose.

“yes. please,” you whisper back and he’s on you before you can even blink.

sungho’s lips are as plush and sweet as you imagined them to be. he tastes of the fruity alcohol that sits in his now abandoned cup,your stomach flipping as he gently works his lips against yours. one of his hands comes up to cup your cheek, and you notice his fingers slightly shaking against your skin. even when he’s like this, he’s still so cute, it drives you crazy.

you reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer to you until your bodies are pressed flush against each other. you tangle your fingers into his hair and at your actions, he softly sighs, falling into you even more. you swallow all of his noises as you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip for permission; pliantly, he parts his lips for you, a quiet moan leaving his lips when you slightly tug on his hair.

you feel his strong arm circle around your waist, his fingers splayed out against the fabric of your thin dress. you’re wrapped up in his scent, an all encompassing mantra of sungho, sungho, sungho filling your brain. he handles you gently, but so desperately as he licks into your mouth, his teeth grazing over your lips.

you can’t help the noises leaving your mouth as he subconsciously slips a leg in between yours, holding you impossibly closer to him. you can feel his rapid heart beat through his shirt, and you’re sure your own heart is pounding just as fast. he’s addicting in all sense of the word, your mind growing foggy as you grind up into him. he guides you with his arm, his other hand rubbing soothing circles onto your cheek. it’s everything and more, and when he finally parts for air, you find yourself chasing after his lips desperately.

“is this—is this okay?” sungho stutters through a whisper, referring to the position the two of you are in.

you nod quickly, biting your lip as you look up into his eyes. his pupils are fully blown out, his lips bitten red, covered in a thin layer of your saliva. his chest rises and falls quickly as he looks down at you and something akin to pride fills your chest at the sight. you made him like this. he’s so perfect.

“fuck, you’re gorgeous,” he breathes out before capturing your lips again. he’s a little more feverish this time, moaning against your lips as you grind against his leg. he seems to be getting off on you getting off, and the thought alone is driving you crazy.

you don’t even think about how you both are still in plain sight, right up against the kitchen counter where anyone could walk in at any time. and the little bubble that the two of you have built comes crashing down as a familiar voice breaks through your muddled haze.

“i’m gonna puke. need water,” jaehyun shouts as he runs into the kitchen before getting dizzy, moving to sit criss cross on the floor with his head in his hands.

“oh my god,” you groan as sungho hesitantly pulls himself away from you. “i’m so sorry, sungho.”

he’s clearly disheveled, his shirt slightly riding up exposing the smooth expanse of his lower stomach. his hair is a mess from your fingers, his lips are bruised, and it’s almost impossible to not notice the obvious bulge in his pants. despite it all, he’s still an angel, offering you a gentle smile.

“i’ll get him water, don’t worry,” sungho says, his face flushed red as he goes to grab a cup. you turn your gaze to the shitfaced jaehyun on the floor—you hold back any and all urges to cuss him out because 1. he’s incredibly drunk so the words won’t hurt him enough and 2. sungho is right there.

you walk over to crouch down in front of jaehyun, placing a hand on his shoulder. “keep it in, myungjae, or i swear…”

jaehyun mumbles some incomprehensible gibberish and you sigh quietly. as much of a cockblock as he is right now, your friends’ wellbeing always comes first.

“here,” sungho says from above you. you look up to see him holding out a cup of water to you with a tiny, awkward smile on his lips.

you already want to kiss him again.

“thank you,” you reply softly, returning the smile. “myung, you awake?” you shake jaehyun’s shoulder a few times before he finally slurs out more gibberish. “i’m gonna need words, hun.”

“i think… i think i’m drunk…” he mumbles before groaning again, slumping forward against you.

“yeah, no shit,” you deadpan. you place the water down next to you so you can lift his head up with both hands. jaehyun’s cheeks squish together like a chipmunk as he sleepy blinks at you. “wake up. where’s yujin?”

“she left with someone… i didn’t see…” he trails off before slumping forward again. “i’m gonna puke.”

“no, you’re not. drink this.” you try your best to help him drink the water, even though most of it spills onto his shirt. whatever. “i’m taking you home.”

jaehyun doesn’t respond other than a hiccup and another incomprehensible mumble.

“do you need some help?”

oh, right. sungho is still right here. you feel half-embarrassed and half-disappointed at the prospect of leaving him high and dry right here, but jaehyun needs your help right now. you wave sungho off with a small laugh and a shake of your head.

“i got him. we’ll call a driver.”

“are you sure? i can go with you guys.”

“it’s okay! enjoy the party.” you insist, trying to get jaehyun to drink more water. sungho nibbles on his lip in thought, watching the scene in from of him.

“i’ll wait outside with you guys at least.”

“you really don’t have to…” but sungho cuts you off with an insistent look and you find yourself giving in all too quickly. “okay. can you help me get him up?”

with much struggle and some extra hands from angel sungho, you guys manage to get jaehyun on his feet. you throw his arm over your shoulders and wrap your own around his waist to hold him up straight. sungho helps you steady him from the other side and you mentally thank him a thousand times over again because you’re sure jaehyun would’ve already crushed you by now if he wasn’t here.

“carry me like a princess,” jaehyun mumbles, lolling his head to the side, his entire body complete jelly.

“i’m not carrying you like a princess, jaehyun,” you speak blankly as you make your way to the front of the beach house.

“sungho, carry me like a princess.” all sungho does it laugh lightly and take more of jaehyun’s weight from you.

“come on, myungjae. left foot, right foot… there you go. you’re actually walking now, good job.”

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

sungho waits with the both of you on the steps, jaehyun half asleep on your shoulder. what a way to end your night. sungho is eerily quiet as he watches the party-goers in the distance, the fireworks painting the sky in an array of colors and light. it’s beautiful you think, and as you turn your head to gaze at sungho, the lights reflecting in his dark eyes, you think he’s even more beautiful.

“are you… are you sure you’ll be okay?” sungho suddenly asks, turning his head to face you.

“i’m sure. i don’t want to ruin your night,” you reply with a small smile, though sungho frowns at your words.

“you could never ruin my night,” he says so seriously, you think you might’ve misheard for a moment. sungho’s gaze is heavy on you and you’re at a loss for words again, your mouth clamping shut. you feel your stomach do flips at his words, so simple yet so perfect. everything he does makes you fall for him even more.

you don’t speak for a few minutes after that and you don’t need to. the silence is calming this time. of course, there are a million things you want to say to sungho, but now doesn’t feel like the right time. not when jaehyun is a zombie next to you, mumbling in his half-asleep daze. sungho seems to be keeping his words to himself as well, glancing over at you from time to time.

finally, a black car pulls up in the driveway and you get a notification that your driver is here.

“i—i think that’s our car. thank you for your help, sungho,” you speak as you go to shake jaehyun awake.

“yeah, it’s no problem,” sungho sheepishly smiles, tucking his hands in his pockets. “um, y/n…?”

“hm?” you ask over your shoulder as you help your mumbling best friend to a stand. sungho watches the scene in front of him before shaking his head.

“...nevermind. get back safely, okay?” when you meet his eyes again, they’re sparkling with something unsaid. and somehow, you know exactly what he’s trying to say.

“will do,” you affirm with a small smile before shushing jaehyun as he begins to whine about needing to puke again. “goodnight, sungho!!”

“goodnight, y/n.”

your clingy, drunk best friend drops his head onto your shoulder again as soon as you manage to get into the car, cuddling up to your side like a koala. with a sigh, you gaze out of the window and back toward the house. none of this feels real yet, but you’re sure it’ll all hit you once you’re completely sober.

as you begin to drive off, you notice a figure with black hair softly banging his head against the front wall of the house before regaining his composure, making his way back down to the beach.

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

12:47 p.m | weather: chilly

dear diary,

we kissed. we actually kissed. but he was drunk, so i don’t know what any of this means. did he mean to kiss me? does he regret it? he hasn’t texted me, or called me. should i text him first? i’ve never been this nervous over anything before. maybe because it all feels too real now. i like him a lot. i don’t want to ruin this.

also jaehyun puked in my dorm last night. great.

PHASE THREE: UH… NOT SURE YET (never let myung jaehyun plan anything)

you usually aren’t one to bed rot, but it’s been two days since riwoo’s party and you’re sure that you are absolutely done for.

you had finally gave in and texted sungho asking if he got home safe that night. he replied with the driest message you’ve ever seen, and left you on delivered after you asked him what his plans were for the week.

and yes, you called for a best friend night so you could cry and tell you friends everything that happened. yujin had suggested that maybe he just needed some time to process things—it wouldn’t be out of character for him to avoid you in the first place, but you really thought you had made some semblance of progress that night.

jaehyun suggested that maybe he realized you are a bad kisser and never wants to see you again. you chose to flick him on the forehead and proceed to attempt suffocation with a pillow (which did not work. sadly.)

now you’re laying in your bed hugging a plushie as you sadly scroll through your timeline at 4 p.m on a sunny sunday afternoon. yujin is out probably seeing the world why you are here hoping to disappear from it. you would’ve never thought that being ghosted could hurt you this bad—probably because you have never liked anyone as much as you like sungho.

your heart physically hurts, but you try your best to not think too negatively. maybe yujin was right. maybe he just needed to sort things out by himself first. jaehyun, on the other hand, can go to hell.

you continue to scroll through funny cat videos until you suddenly get an incoming call from “p.s.h <3”.

the speed that you sit up at could beat lightning, your eyes comically widening as the caller i.d fills the screen. your fingers answer the call before you can even run through the possibilities of delusion and hallucination, pressing the phone to your ear.

“hello?” you speak, trying to sound as normal as possible. there’s a bit of shuffling on the other end of the line before sungho’s voice flows through.

“hey, y/n. are you free right now?” sungho asks, his voice half-unsure and half-hopeful. you bite your lip to suppress the smile creeping onto your face.

“right now…? i guess i have some time,” you exaggerate. what? he ghosted you for two days! you can’t seem too available!

sungho lets out a breath from the other end of the line, shuffling around again. “um, sorry if this is sudden, but can we meet up? i… i need to see you right now.”

you have to physically clutch your blanket in order to stop yourself from jumping with joy. park sungho wants to see you. park sungho wants to see you right now! it seems as if all of your wishes have been granted. fuck you, myung jaehyun!

“yeah, we can meet up. where?”

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

you notice sungho’s messy black hair as soon as you turn the corner to the flower garden situated in the middle of the large park across the street from your campus. he’s wearing a black long sleeve and jeans with a belt, his green satchel resting on the bench next to him. his glasses hang on the edge of the nose and he seems to be sketching something, his brows slightly furrowed as he focuses intently on his page.

those familiar fluttery feelings fill your chest when he looks up at the sound of your footsteps in the grass. his gaze softens when he meets your eyes, closing his sketchbook as you near him.

“hi,” you start with a shy smile. you suddenly feel self-conscious with his heavy gaze on you, looking down at your shoes. you realize that you’re both wearing converses again today.

“hi,” sungho says before motioning to the empty spot on the bench next to him. “sit, sit.”

you nod once, cautiously taking a seat next to him. your heart pounds in your chest at the close proximity, which is ridiculous considering the fact that you two were much closer just a couple of days ago, but for some reason, everything feels a little different this time.

late spring flowers bloom around you, pinks and yellows mixing with the green shrubbery. it’s sunny out, but a a cool breeze combats the bright sun rays. it’s a perfect day and sungho looks even more perfect. he’s back to his usual self it seems, unable to meet your eyes as he clears his throat.

“so, um… i just want to start off by saying that i’m sorry.”

you make a small sound of confusion, tilting your head at him. “sorry about what? you didn’t do anything wrong…”

“no, i did. i haven’t spoken to you since the party and i just… i don’t know. i got stuck in my own head,” sungho explains softly as he peeks up at you. his leg is bouncing slightly with nervousness and you want to reach over and comfort him. “i thought that maybe you only kissed me because we were both drunk. or maybe you felt pressured to… i don’t know. it’s stupid.”

he shakes his head before looking down at his lap, wringing his hands nervously. this time, you actually do reach a hand out, your fingers resting atop his. his hands immediately still as he lifts his head to find your eyes. they’re completely vulnerable, all of his guards lowered around you.

“it’s not stupid. i didn’t feel pressured to do anything. i kissed you because that’s what i’ve wanted to do for a whole year now.”

sungho’s eyes widen at your words, his mouth dropping open a bit in shock. “a whole year?”

“sungho, i have liked you ever since that introductory art class in freshman year. i thought that you didn’t like me,” you finally confess. sungho frowns at your words, his fingers calmly moving to lace with yours. his hands are as soft as his gaze on you and you feel yourself settle at his touch, relaxing a bit as his thumb brushes against the back of your hand.

“i’m sorry that i made you feel that way. i just get really nervous when you’re around, as you can see,” he laughs, looking down at his bouncing leg. “i don’t know why it took me so long to say this, but i’m not going to wait any longer. my friend, taesan, kinda knocked some sense into me yesterday.”

you mentally thank kurt cobain, trying to conceal the sun-shaming smile threatening to appear on your face. sungho looks incredibly nervous as he takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a second—and when he opens them again, they drip with so much sincerity and affection, you feel all of the air leave your lungs.

“y/n, i like you. i like everything about you, and i’m sorry i’ve been such a coward this whole time. i guess i just never thought that someone like you, someone so beautiful, and talented, and sweet, would like someone like me,” he speaks, laughing a bit at himself at the end. you quickly shake your head, squeezing his hand.

“you’re also beautiful, talented, and sweet, though…” you mutter through a pout because—how could he ever think he was anything but all of the good things in the world!

“i’m also an idiot for waiting this long,” he adds and okay, that you can agree with, but…

“i guess i am too, then,” you respond through a tiny smile. this moment is all you could’ve asked for. “sungho, can i kiss you?”

the words leave your slips before you can catch them, but sungho gives you no time to back track. with a small smile and a tiny nod, he reaches up to cup the side of your face and you get deja vu as soon as his skin touches yours.

“please,” he whispers with pleading eyes.

you are so down bad, it’s insane.

this kiss feels like your first some reason; the your heart flutters as he delicately presses his lips to yours. now that you’re fully sober, you’re hyper aware of everything.his fingers tremble with nervousness and you smile into this kiss. there’s no reason to rush as you take him in, all of him, from his vanilla cologne, to his careful hands.

his entire body melts as you rest a hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat through the pads of your fingertips. you can’t help but giggle a bit as you feel just how fast his heart is beating, somehow even faster than last time. sungho slowly pulls away, looking at you with pink dusted cheeks.

“why are you laughing?” he asks cutely, cocking his head like a curious kitten.

“you’re just so cute. i can’t help it,” you smile before quickly pecking his lips again. sungho’s cheeks brighten at your words, reaching up to cover his face with his hands.

“you can’t just say things like that!”

“oh? i can’t?” you ask teasingly. he drops his hands and shakes his head at you with a pout. “what about if i were your girlfriend? can i say it then?”

“only if i get to be your boyfriend,” sungho says back, a tiny smile climbing onto his lips. you pretend to think for a second, tapping your finger on your chin.

“hm… sounds like a fair deal to me.”

“then a deal it is.”

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

“guys. guys. it was so amazing. we confessed to each other, and then we took a walk together and held hands, and then we got lunch together before his class, and then we…” you ramble on about your day with sungho as you sit with your best friends on a blanket in the field, sighing dreamily as you reminiscence about his soft lips and cute smiles. he’s so perfect, in every single way. you can’t believe you can call yourself his girlfriend now.

“were the flowers pretty?” yujin asks from where she’s laying on her back, looking up at the multi-hued sky. jaehyun chuckles from his spot in between you guys, his arms folded behind his head as his eyes follow a passing bird.

“of course they were! and they even—wait. wait… how did you know i was at the flower garden?” you ask, looking in between the both of them with accusation. they give each other another one of those classic communicating-with-eyes looks before turning to you with knowing smiles. “oh my god. you guys planned this, didn’t you?”

“yup! i perfected it last night,” jaehyun smiles, throwing an arm over your shoulder. "phase three? let nature take its course. i managed to get some help from kurt ‘taesan’ cobain yesterday.”

“you are actually insane,” you speak dumbfoundedly. there’s nothing else you can say though because at the end of the day, sungho is now yours and you are his. albeit, the way you got here was a little iffy.

“myungstein, i’m telling you. the nation’s #1 matchmaker,” jaehyun speaks cockily, folding his hands behind his head as he turns to you with a cheeky smile.

“nope. still not calling you that.” you roll your eyes at his antics, but you can’t stop the smile from slipping onto your lips as the three of you watch the sunset. you’re content, the soft breeze drifting across your cheeks, the scent of vanilla and blushed cheeks soothing your mind.

｡‧˚🍞⭒₊˚🍎˚ · .

5:51 pm | weather: clear skies

dear diary,

park sungho is my boyfriend now :) <3 yay

reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated! thank u...<3 x

masterlist

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soubeomies · 5 months ago

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pairing ; leehan x gn!reader

genre ; obviously fluff!! :3

warnings ; none (probably)

a/n ; hi im back hehe SORRY I TOOK A HUGE SUDDEN LEAVE LOL, but i hope i can be more active <3

you and leehan had been dating for a little over a year now. though you both havent hung out for awhile since his schedule was so packed due to his idol duties. you always texted him asking when he would be able to hang out again, but of course, he would either be in dance practice, recording variety shows, recording new songs, or he would be on tour. you knew he always tried his best to make time for you, but its especially hard because of his schedule. you knew it wasnt his fault, but you couldnt help but feel sad.

you woke up this morning, ready to just spend another day with your usual cycle of doing absolutely nothing but scrolling through your phone all day.. and maybe waiting for a text from leehan?

you had just finished breakfast, you were just sitting on your couch as you scrolled through tiktok while sipping on your coffee ( or any preferred drink! ). you were mindlessly scrolling, until .. ding! a notification– FROM LEEHAN?!?!?!

–

and just like that, he left you on read. you chuckled to yourself, “where could he be taking me?” you muttered to yourself with a small grin on your face. you got ready, dressing up, but not too much. you looked at yourself in the mirror as you did your hair, and put on multiple accessories to see which ones suited you better. you finished up as you smiled, you cant help yourself but feel super excited cause leehan was finally taking you out!

you waited for him as you made sure you had everything you needed in your bag, powerbank, hairties, bottled water, hand sanitizer, tissues, and–

ding dong! the sound of your doorbell. you quickly zipped your bag up and dusted your clothes off before getting up and rushing over to the door. you practically yanked the door open as you saw your boyfriend, leehan, standing at your doorstep with a bouquet of flowers.

he had a slight rosy hue on his cheeks as he smiled, “flowers.. for you?..” he muttered as he handed them to you in a flustered manner. you smiled at him and leaned in and hugged him tightly. he couldnt help himself but hug you back. “i missed you..” he muttered into the crook of your neck as you feel his warm breath against your skin. you both pull away gently.

“soo.. where are you taking me, hm?” you said as you trailed behind him to his car which was parked in your driveway. “just wait and see!!” he replied, he seemed really excited. you were still curious as he didnt budge to tell you where he was taking you.

–

an hour of driving passed as you arrived to a building.. it was an aquarium! you smiled as you looked at him. “aquarium date?” you said to him with a small smile on your face. “mhm! are you excited?! i’ve always wanted to take you to an aquarium!” he said as he drove to the parking lot. he parked the car and unbuckled his seatbelt as he got out of the car and opened your door aswell. he held you hand as he helped you out of the car as you both walked into the building.

upon entering, he opened his phone and showed it to the security as they scanned the qr for the tickets as they both let you in. hand in hand, you both admired the aquarium and its atmosphere together. even though it was rather crowded, you both felt like it was just the two of you. as you walked, leehan kept talking about the fishes there, giving you fun facts and everything. you didnt even have to read the descriptions of the fishes anymore, cause leehan had it all covered :)

#soubeomies #fanfic #kpop #kpop fanfic #boynextdoor #leehan #bnd #bnd x reader #bnd fluff #bnd leehan #boynextdoor x you #bnd x you #boynextdoor x reader #boynextdoor fluff

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hangup119 · 2 months ago

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when pigs fly 09. ho is u falala ?

prev | masterlist | next

you will only admit that you actually like kim leehan when pigs start to fly. for now, though, everyone else will just have to suffer the push-and-pull that happens whenever the two of you are near each other's vicinity.

taglist. @shoberi @lionhanie @molensworld @antlix @winuvs @icewons @dalliesque @taroddori @astrae4 @mintyun @cherrytaesan @saintriots @noodlesfeet @nujeskz @fae-renjun n @tocupid @onlyhyunjin @otblous @haoahae @soobiverse @cyjzzl @hyukarina @renjunsversion @naviiy @sngj08 @etherealiitty @lailols @lunaavity @i05wook @idksomecreativename @wonpoem @injunnie-lemon @xcosmi @7thgyu @i1uvc4ke @selleprotection @papichulomacy @haechology @kage-yaa @dimplewonie @hanbinniesmango o @horijiro @tkooooop @luvvhaerin @p-d1ddy @darlingz99 @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @enhacolor @darlingz99 appgirl @miyawwn

reblogs appreciated!

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blossominghunnie · 4 months ago

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𝐁𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧

Pairing: Taesan x fem!reader

Summary: You really hope your boyfriend wants to adopt the cat you just rescued, which funnily enough reminds you of him.

Genre: Fluff, established relationship

Warning: None

Notes: My first Dongmin imagine. 🤭🤍

“Honey, you’re not allergic to cats, right?” You asked your boyfriend as soon as you entered your shared apartment.

“No, why?” He responded from the living room coach.

“No reason.” You nervously answered, taking off your shoes and adjusting the shoulder strap of your bag.

He eyed you suspiciously and walked to you.

“What did you do now, baby?”

“Now? I never do anything, Taesanie; what makes you say that?”

“You think I don’t remember the time you tried to convince me to adopt a dog?”

“Can’t believe we didn’t, he was so cute.” You pouted.

“He was, but he was a husky and we live in a two bedroom apartment, lovie.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“Anyway, don’t change the subject. What are you hiding?” He crossed his arms arching an eyebrow.

“You promise you won’t get mad at me?”

“Why would I get mad?” He laughed lightly. “I never really do.”

“Okay.” You sighed. “I may or may not have brought a kitten.” You opened your bag and a pretty little black cat poked his head out.

“I found him abandoned by an alley, I didn’t have the heart to leave him there.”

Taesan carefully picked him up. “He’s so cute.” The cat purred and rubbed his head on the black haired’s hand.

“He looks just like you.” You giggled.

“Hey!”

You hanged your bag and saw him walking away. “Where are you going?”

“To give him a bath. We can take him to the vet tomorrow and think of a name as well.”

You nodded and followed him, happy that he wanted to keep the kitty.

You gave him a kiss on the cheek. “We can name him Dongmin or Taesan.”

“Absolutely not!” You laughed loudly.

════ ⋆★⋆ ════

Boynextdoor masterlist || Main masterlist

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mirisss · 2 months ago

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Puppy smile & Cat eyes

academic rivals, enemies to lovers (kind of)! non idol!Myung Jaehyun x afab! reader

Warnings: Some swearing, fainting, stressing over grades, slight jealousy, I think that’s it

Wordcount ≈ 9.6k

Please reblog!

Third Person POV

The sun streamed through the large windows of the lecture hall, illuminating the faces of eager students hunched over their notes. Among them sat Myung Jaehyun, a whirlwind of energy. His laughter, bright and infectious, bounced off the walls like a melody, drawing smiles from everyone around him. With tousled hair that never seemed to fall out of place and an easy confidence that turned heads, Jaehyun was the quintessential golden retriever in human form—radiating warmth and charm.

“Did you finish the reading for today?” he asked a classmate with an inviting grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling with sincerity.

Meanwhile, at the back of the room, (Y/n) leaned against her desk, her expression as inscrutable as ever. She focused intently on her notes, meticulously crafting her understanding of the material while Jaehyun’s laughter fluttered in the background. The air around her felt heavy with tension; the energy he exuded grated on her nerves. To her, Jaehyun was the embodiment of everything that was frustratingly easy in life. Where she had to claw her way through endless late nights and countless coffee cups, he seemed to breeze through with little more than a smile and a wink.

“Why does he always have to be so cheerful?” she thought, clenching her pencil as she watched him from the corner of her eye. “It’s infuriating. I mean, does he even study? He probably just glances at the textbook and calls it a day.”

Jaehyun, oblivious to her glare, continued chatting with friends, his laughter punctuating the lecture like an unwanted soundtrack. He noticed (Y/n)’s seriousness and couldn’t help but feel a spark of curiosity. “She’s smart, no doubt about that,” he mused, though he found her cold demeanor perplexing. “It’s like she’s allergic to fun.”

As the professor began the lecture, Jaehyun’s gaze drifted back to (Y/n). He wondered why she seemed so distant, why she always wore a frown when he approached her. “Maybe I’ll crack her shell one day,” he thought, a challenge forming in his mind.

For (Y/n), however, that was the last thing she wanted. The thought of Jaehyun breaking through her carefully built walls felt as welcome as a sudden downpour on a bright day. “I don’t need his charm or his stupid smile,” she thought, resolutely turning her attention back to her notes. “I’ll show him just how hard I can work. Maybe then he’ll see that it’s not all fun and games.”

### Scene

The next class started, and Jaehyun couldn’t shake the thought of (Y/n) from his mind. Determined to bridge the chasm between them, he took a deep breath and walked toward her desk, his usual grin plastered on his face.

“Hey, (Y/n),” he began, his voice light and friendly, “I was wondering if you wanted to study together for the upcoming exam. I could use a little help in understanding some of the concepts.”

She glanced up, her expression icy, and for a moment, he hesitated. “I don’t need to study with you,” she replied flatly, her tone curt and dismissive. The words struck him harder than he anticipated.

“Why not? I mean, we’re both top students. It could be fun!” he insisted, trying to inject some enthusiasm into the conversation.

“Fun?” (Y/n) raised an eyebrow, her lips curling slightly in disdain. “You think this is a game? Some kind of social event where we exchange laughs over formulas?”

Jaehyun’s smile faltered. “I just thought—”

“That’s the problem, isn’t it?” she interrupted, her gaze piercing through him. “You think everything comes easy, like it’s all just a joke. But for some of us, it’s not.”

The energy in the air shifted, and Jaehyun felt an unexpected surge of frustration rising within him. “I’m not trying to make fun of anything, (Y/n). I’m serious about my studies. I just thought we could help each other out.”

“Help each other?” she echoed, a smirk dancing on her lips. “You mean you want to spend more time giggling and getting distracted while I do all the hard work? No, thanks.”

He clenched his fists, the familiar warmth he often radiated turning to an uncomfortable heat. “You don’t even know me,” he shot back, his tone sharper than intended. “I study hard, just like you.”

“Really?” (Y/n) crossed her arms, leaning back in her chair as if daring him to prove her wrong. “Because it doesn’t look that way from where I’m sitting. It looks like you’re more interested in being the class clown than a dedicated student.”

Jaehyun felt a flash of anger ignite. How could she judge him so quickly? “Maybe if you opened your eyes for once, you’d see that I’m not just some puppy you can dismiss,” he retorted, struggling to keep his voice steady.

For a moment, the tension hung thick between them, the sounds of the classroom fading into a muffled background. Jaehyun could feel the eyes of their classmates drifting toward them, but he didn’t care. All he felt was the intensity of (Y/n)’s stare, like a storm brewing, and it both infuriated and intrigued him.

“Fine,” she said finally, breaking the silence. “You want to study together? I’ll do it on my terms. No distractions. No nonsense.”

Jaehyun blinked, taken aback by her sudden willingness, but he couldn’t help the spark of excitement igniting within him. “Deal,” he said, a determined smile creeping back onto his face. “Just don’t expect me to be boring.”

As (Y/n) rolled her eyes, Jaehyun couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, this rivalry was about to take an interesting turn.

### Scene

The library was a quiet sanctuary, filled with the soft rustling of pages and the occasional whisper of students deep in thought. Jaehyun found a spot at a large wooden table, stacking his textbooks and notes with a mix of excitement and nerves. He glanced around, the air thick with the scent of aged paper, but his focus remained on the entrance, waiting for (Y/n).

When she finally walked in, she was a study in contrasts—clad in dark colors, her long hair pulled back in a neat ponytail, exuding a quiet intensity. Jaehyun's smile widened as he waved at her, but the warmth of his greeting collided with the icy aura she carried.

“Hey, (Y/n)!” he said brightly, pushing his books aside to make room for her. “Ready to tackle some of this material together?”

She nodded curtly, sliding into the chair across from him without uttering a word. Her coldness hung between them like a barrier, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but notice how her gaze flicked over his textbooks with a mixture of disdain and determination.

As he began to explain a particularly tricky concept, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the feeling that (Y/n) was sizing him up, her dark eyes narrowing slightly with each word he spoke. He tried to keep his tone light, but he could feel the chill radiating from her side of the table.

Inside, (Y/n) struggled to ignore the smile that never seemed to leave his face. It was infuriating, the way it made him look effortlessly charming, almost magnetic. She gritted her teeth, forcing herself to concentrate on the notes before her. Why does he always have to look so handsome? she thought bitterly. It’s just a stupid smile. It doesn’t mean anything.

“Okay, so if we look at the equation here—” Jaehyun pointed to a complex formula, his enthusiasm unwavering. “—it’s really about understanding how these variables interact. I think if you break it down, it’s not as complicated as it seems.”

Her eyes flicked to his face, the way his expression lit up with genuine excitement. A flicker of annoyance shot through her. “It’s not complicated for you because you’ve probably memorized it by now. Some of us have to work harder to get it,” she replied, her voice sharp.

Jaehyun’s smile faltered for a moment, a flash of hurt crossing his features. “I’m not trying to show off, (Y/n). I just want to help.” He leaned forward, earnestness etched into his face. “If you just let me explain it, you might see it differently.”

“It’s easy for you to say that,” she snapped, unable to hide the bitterness in her voice. “You don’t know what it’s like to struggle with this stuff.”

He paused, the air thickening with unspoken tension. “I may not know exactly what you’re going through, but I’m here to support you, not to belittle you. I want us both to succeed.”

For a heartbeat, (Y/n) considered his words. The sincerity in his eyes made her chest tighten. No, don’t get swayed. She shook her head, returning her focus to her notes. “Let’s just get back to studying,” she said curtly, fighting the fluttering feeling in her stomach.

“Right,” Jaehyun replied, biting back his frustration. He straightened up, his smile reappearing, though it was tinged with determination. “Okay, let’s go through it step by step.”

As they delved into the material, (Y/n) couldn’t help but catch glimpses of Jaehyun’s enthusiasm. Despite her best efforts to remain unaffected, she found herself begrudgingly impressed by his ability to explain the concepts clearly, and a small part of her wondered if perhaps there was more to him than she had initially thought.

Yet every time his smile flashed in her direction, that small, annoying voice in her head whispered, He’s just a distraction. And with that thought firmly in place, she forced herself to focus on the equations, determined not to let anything—especially him—get in the way of her success.

### Scene

The cozy café hummed with the chatter of students, the rich aroma of coffee wafting through the air. (Y/n) sat across from her best friend, Sungho, a familiar sense of comfort settling over her. He was the one person who always knew how to make her feel better, no matter how tangled her thoughts became.

“So, what’s bothering you?” Sungho asked, leaning back in his chair, a knowing smile playing on his lips. His easy demeanor had a way of easing her tension.

With a sigh, (Y/n) stirred her coffee absentmindedly, the swirling cream mirroring the chaos in her mind. “It’s Jaehyun. He’s so… infuriating!” she burst out, the frustration spilling over. “I can’t stand how he breezes through everything like it’s a joke!”

Sungho raised an eyebrow, his expression turning serious. “I’ve seen you two in class. He seems friendly enough. What’s really going on?”

“Friendly?” she scoffed, her eyes narrowing. “He’s overly friendly. It’s like he thinks he can just charm everyone with that stupid smile of his! I mean, how can he be so confident when I have to work twice as hard just to keep up?”

Sungho chuckled softly, shaking his head. “Sounds like someone’s a little jealous.”

“Jealous? Me? Of him?” (Y/n) huffed, crossing her arms defensively. “I just… I don’t get why he’s so effortless about it all. It’s frustrating. I want to succeed because I earn it, not because I’m cute or charming.”

“I get that,” Sungho said, nodding in understanding. “But you know, it’s not like he’s trying to undermine you. Maybe he genuinely wants to help.”

“Help?” she repeated, rolling her eyes. “He thinks he’s some kind of genius just because he can explain things in a way that sounds easy. But it doesn’t help me feel any less annoyed.”

Sungho leaned forward, resting his chin on his hand. “What if you tried looking at it differently? Maybe you can use his help to your advantage. You know he’s good at this stuff.”

“Sure, but at what cost?” (Y/n) retorted. “Every time I see him, it’s like I have to remind myself that I’m here to study, not to indulge in some competition about who’s better at being a student.”

“Competitions can be good sometimes, though,” Sungho said with a teasing grin. “They can push you to be even better. Just don’t let it get to your head.”

She sighed, taking a sip of her coffee as she contemplated his words. “You don’t understand, Sungho. It’s not just about academics. It’s his whole vibe. That damn smile. It makes me feel like I’m losing my focus. Like I’m being pulled into something I don’t want.”

“Admit it, though,” he said, leaning back with a playful glint in his eye. “You find him attractive.”

“Ugh, I do not!” she protested, her cheeks flushing slightly. “He’s just… infuriatingly handsome. It doesn’t mean anything!”

“Sure, keep telling yourself that,” Sungho teased, chuckling. “But honestly, if you’re spending this much time thinking about him, maybe there’s more to it. What if you let down your guard a little? You might find you enjoy his company.”

“I just can’t,” (Y/n) replied, shaking her head resolutely. “I won’t let him distract me from my goals. I’m here to succeed on my own terms.”

Sungho smiled knowingly. “I believe in you, but don’t be afraid to loosen up. You might surprise yourself.”

As they finished their drinks, (Y/n) couldn’t shake the feeling that Sungho was right in some way. But how could she reconcile her determination with the undeniable tension that seemed to crackle whenever Jaehyun was around? With that thought lingering in her mind, she resolved to face the next study session with a renewed focus, even if it meant confronting those feelings she was desperately trying to ignore.

### Scene

As Jaehyun strolled past the café, the familiar buzz of conversation enveloped him. He had just finished an exhausting study session in the library and decided to grab a coffee for a little pick-me-up. But as he glanced through the large glass windows, his gaze landed on (Y/n) sitting across from Sungho, her laughter ringing clear as he leaned in, clearly enjoying a moment that felt intimate.

A jolt of something sharp pierced through Jaehyun—something he couldn’t quite place. **Are they on a date?** The thought hit him like a cold wave, and he stood frozen, watching as (Y/n) tossed her head back, her hair catching the sunlight, her smile illuminating her face in a way that made his heart clench.

He didn’t realize how long he lingered until a couple of students bumped past him, breaking him from his trance. As he walked away, his mind raced with conflicting emotions. **Why did it bother him so much?** He hardly knew her. They were just rivals, right?

But for the next two days, that nagging feeling wouldn’t leave him alone. He found himself distracted in class, his thoughts drifting back to that café moment, the way she smiled, the way Sungho leaned in close. Every time he tried to study, his mind would wander, replaying the scene over and over.

The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became. **Why does it even matter?** He told himself it was just jealousy over her friendship with someone else, that they had a connection he didn’t understand. But deep down, something else was gnawing at him—a longing he hadn’t recognized until now.

Finally, as he lay in bed that night, staring at the ceiling, it hit him like a revelation. **I like her.** The realization washed over him, both exhilarating and terrifying. The girl who challenged him in every way, who matched his energy with her cold demeanor, had somehow found a place in his heart.

Jaehyun sat up, the truth crashing down on him. **Of course I’m jealous.** He had never expected to feel this way about his rival. Every interaction, every heated debate, every study session filled with tension and unspoken words had transformed into something deeper.

His mind raced through the possibilities. Would she even feel the same? Was it too late to change the dynamic? And what about the way she looked at him—was it just disdain, or could there be a hint of something more beneath that icy exterior?

The next day, Jaehyun entered the lecture hall with a newfound resolve. He spotted (Y/n) at her usual seat, focused on her notes, her expression serious. He took a deep breath and approached her, determined to navigate this newfound territory.

“Hey, (Y/n),” he called out, forcing a smile that felt a little less effortless than usual.

She looked up, her brow furrowing slightly. “What do you want, Jaehyun?”

He hesitated, searching for the right words. “I wanted to see if we could study together again. I know you said you didn’t want distractions, but…” He paused, gathering his thoughts. “I think it might help us both.”

Her gaze flickered with skepticism, but he pressed on, trying to sound more confident. “I mean, I realize we’re rivals, but I think we could actually help each other out. And maybe… I don’t know, it could be fun?”

“Fun?” she echoed, crossing her arms, her expression unreadable.

“Yeah,” he said, a hint of playfulness creeping in. “Or at least less miserable than just studying alone.”

To his surprise, (Y/n) considered it, the tension hanging in the air palpable. He watched her expression soften just a fraction, a glimmer of curiosity sparking in her eyes.

“Fine,” she replied slowly, her tone still guarded. “But no distractions.”

Jaehyun nodded eagerly, unable to hide his smile. “Deal.”

As they settled into their study session, he felt a sense of hope. Maybe this was the beginning of something different—something more than just rivalry. And for the first time, he didn’t mind that she was still guarded; he was ready to break down those walls, one smile at a time.

Jaehyun sat at his usual spot in the campus café, a half-finished cup of coffee in front of him and his textbooks spread out haphazardly across the table. But his focus was nowhere near the equations staring back at him. Instead, his gaze was fixed on (Y/n), who was sitting at a nearby table with Sungho, their heads bent together in quiet conversation.

As he watched her laugh at something Sungho said, a mix of admiration and frustration churned in his stomach. Why does she have to look so carefree? Jaehyun thought, feeling a familiar ache at the sight. Why does he get to make her laugh?

“Dude, you look like a lost puppy,” Taesan said, breaking Jaehyun from his reverie. He and Riwoo had just returned from the counter, coffee cups in hand. Taesan leaned over to nudge Jaehyun, a teasing grin plastered on his face. “You’ve been staring for like ten minutes.”

Jaehyun straightened up, feigning nonchalance as he tried to look back at his notes. “I’m just… studying.”

“Studying what?” Riwoo chimed in, taking a sip of his drink. “The art of longing? Because you’re nailing it.”

“Shut up,” Jaehyun shot back, but the flush creeping up his neck betrayed his embarrassment. He glanced back at (Y/n), who was now chatting animatedly with Sungho, her eyes sparkling with warmth.

Taesan chuckled. “You’ve got it bad, man. Just ask her out already.”

“I can’t just ask her out,” Jaehyun replied, exasperation lacing his tone. “We’re not even that close.”

“But you keep hanging out,” Riwoo pointed out, raising an eyebrow. “What are you waiting for? A formal invitation?”

“I don’t know, maybe,” Jaehyun muttered, his thoughts racing. He felt like a tangled ball of nerves. What if she says no? What if she likes Sungho?

“Look, all I’m saying is that it’s not going to get easier if you keep sulking over there,” Taesan urged, leaning back in his chair. “You’re wasting your time thinking about it instead of just talking to her.”

Jaehyun sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know, but what if she doesn’t see me that way? What if she thinks I’m just her study buddy?”

“Then you need to change her mind,” Riwoo said, a mischievous glint in his eye. “Get in there and show her you’re more than just a puppy waiting for scraps.”

Jaehyun shot him a glare but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips. “You guys really think it’s that simple?”

“Why not?” Taesan shrugged. “You’re charming, even if you don’t realize it. Just be yourself. Stop acting like you’ve lost your favorite toy.”

“Yeah, because nothing says ‘I like you’ like looking miserable from a distance,” Riwoo added, rolling his eyes playfully.

With a huff, Jaehyun shifted in his seat, feeling a mixture of determination and fear bubble inside him. Maybe they were right. Maybe he needed to take a chance. But as he glanced back at (Y/n), her laughter ringing through the air, he felt that familiar wave of uncertainty crash over him again.

“Okay, okay,” he finally said, glancing between his friends. “I’ll try to talk to her more. Just… give me a little time.”

“Time? You’ve had a month!” Taesan exclaimed, smirking. “At this rate, you’ll need a miracle to get her attention.”

Jaehyun rolled his eyes, but deep down, he knew his friends were just looking out for him. With a renewed sense of purpose, he took a sip of his coffee and focused on (Y/n) once more, determination building within him. Maybe it was time to stop just watching and start doing.

After their next shared class, Jaehyun's heart raced with determination. He spotted (Y/n) gathering her things, her hair falling in soft waves as she concentrated on organizing her notes. This was his chance. He took a deep breath and approached her, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Hey, (Y/n),” he said, forcing a smile that he hoped masked his nervousness. “I was wondering if you wanted to have another study session? I could use your help with the next topic. You know, it being your favorite and all,”

(Y/n) looked up, and for a moment, Jaehyun thought he saw a flicker of surprise in her eyes. But then, just as quickly, her expression shifted to one of gentle disappointment.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Jaehyun,” she replied, her tone apologetic. “I already have plans with Sungho.”

The words struck Jaehyun like a punch to the gut. He tried to mask his disappointment, but he could feel his heart sinking. Of course. Sungho again. He nodded, forcing a smile that felt increasingly difficult to maintain.

“Oh, right. No problem,” he said, trying to sound casual, but his voice wavered slightly. “Maybe next time, then.”

As (Y/n) gathered her things, Jaehyun couldn’t help but steal glances at her, wishing he could find the right words to keep her from leaving. This was the first time she had seen him look genuinely sad—his usual exuberance dimmed, replaced by a quiet disappointment that was hard to ignore.

For (Y/n), it was a moment of revelation. The carefree, golden retriever persona she often saw in him faltered, and she felt a pang of empathy. Maybe he’s not just a happy-go-lucky guy. She shook her head internally, trying to push the thought away. Focus, (Y/n). You can’t let this distract you.

But as she looked at Jaehyun’s puppy-like expression—eyes wide and hopeful, yet overshadowed by the weight of rejection—something in her shifted. She didn’t like the idea of him feeling this way, especially not because of her.

“Hey,” she said, her voice softer now, “if you ever want to review something else, just let me know. I’m sure we can find time.”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied, his voice quiet, though a hint of gratitude flickered in his eyes.

“See you around?” she asked, feeling a strange mix of concern and guilt.

“Yeah, see you,” Jaehyun said, watching her leave with Sungho, their laughter fading into the distance.

As she walked away, (Y/n) couldn’t shake the feeling that she had just seen a side of Jaehyun that was raw and unguarded. But she had her own goals to focus on, her own studies to tackle. She knew she couldn’t get distracted, even if that fleeting glimpse of vulnerability tugged at her heart.

Meanwhile, Jaehyun stood there for a moment, watching (Y/n) walk away. He felt a mix of frustration and sadness, but also a new resolve building inside him. I need to step up my game. The thought echoed in his mind as he headed back to his own study materials, determined not to let this setback hold him back.

Exams loomed just around the corner, and the atmosphere on campus was thick with tension and determination. (Y/n) was in full study mode, her focus laser-sharp as she buried herself in her textbooks. She was determined to be at the top of the class, fully aware of the fierce competition that Jaehyun represented. He was charming, likable, and annoyingly good at academics. But this time, she was ready to give it her all.

Surrounded by notes and highlighted textbooks, (Y/n) tuned out the world around her. Her desk was a fortress of study materials, and the library became her sanctuary. Each page she flipped, each problem she solved, felt like a step closer to achieving her goal. But as much as she tried to concentrate, there was an undercurrent of anxiety gnawing at her—what if she didn’t measure up?

Across the room, Jaehyun was also studying, but his concentration was faltering. He sat at a table, a pile of books in front of him, but his attention was drawn irresistibly to (Y/n). She sat with her brows furrowed, scribbling notes with fierce determination, and he couldn’t help but admire her. She looks so dedicated.

But the memory of their last conversation echoed in his mind, where (Y/n) had firmly declared, “No distractions until exams are over!” It had been a lighthearted remark, but it stung nonetheless. He knew she was right; they both needed to focus. So, he complied, even as he sat there, longing to be near her.

He shifted in his seat, trying to immerse himself in his studies, but every time he glanced up, his heart would race at the sight of her. She was engrossed, flipping through pages with purpose, and the way she bit her lip in concentration made him ache with admiration.

Why can’t I just focus? Jaehyun thought, running a hand through his hair in frustration. His eyes betrayed him, wandering back to (Y/n) like a moth to a flame. He felt a mix of admiration and helplessness. He wished he could approach her, share a quiet word of encouragement, or even just tell her how much he respected her drive.

Instead, he remained in his corner, watching her from afar like a hopeful puppy yearning for attention but knowing it wasn't his time. As he sat there, the reality of the situation sank in—exams were coming up, and both of them had their goals to achieve.

Despite the distance, there was a strange sense of connection in the air. Jaehyun could sense (Y/n)’s determination, and it ignited something within him as well. If she can push herself this hard, then so can I.

With that thought, he forced himself to return to his books. He could at least match her intensity, even from across the room. And while he couldn’t speak to her directly, he hoped that, once exams were over, they could return to the comfortable camaraderie they had begun to build.

For now, he just needed to focus, and maybe, just maybe, they’d find themselves on the other side of these exams as something more than just rivals. With renewed determination, Jaehyun opened his textbook and immersed himself in the material, though every so often, he stole glances at (Y/n), drawing inspiration from her unwavering focus.

The day the exam results were posted was one of the most nerve-wracking moments of the semester. (Y/n) stood in front of the bulletin board, her heart racing as she scanned the crowded hallway, filled with students eagerly checking their scores. Sungho was right by her side, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the whirlwind of anxiety.

As (Y/n)’s eyes darted over the list, she felt her breath hitch in her throat. Please, please let me be number one, she thought, desperation clawing at her. She had put in every ounce of effort, every late night and early morning. She had to be at the top.

Finally, she spotted the results and her heart sank. There it was—Jaehyun, bold and triumphant at the top of the list. Number 1: Jaehyun.

Her vision blurred as tears prickled at the corners of her eyes. The realization hit her hard, like a punch to the gut. Sungho, sensing her distress, wrapped an arm around her shoulders, offering silent support.

“I’m so sorry, (Y/n),” he murmured, watching as her emotions unfolded. “You worked really hard. You’ll get it next time.”

But (Y/n) couldn’t hear him; her thoughts spiraled as the weight of disappointment settled heavily on her chest. She blinked back tears, but they spilled over anyway, trailing down her cheeks.

From a distance, Jaehyun observed the scene, feeling a mix of emotions as he stood off to the side. He had come to celebrate, to share his joy with friends, but now he felt like an intruder in this moment. He wanted nothing more than to reach out to (Y/n), to comfort her and let her know that her hard work didn’t go unnoticed. But he also understood that right now, he was the last person she wanted to see.

Watching Sungho gently hold (Y/n) as she cried twisted something in his chest. He felt helpless, as if there was an invisible barrier separating him from the comfort he wished he could provide. She deserves better than this moment of sadness.

Jaehyun's heart ached, knowing how much effort she had put in. He felt guilty for achieving the rank she so desperately sought. Maybe if I had just worked a little less hard… But deep down, he knew that wasn’t how it worked.

He took a step closer, then hesitated, unsure if he should intrude on their moment. Instead, he forced himself to stay put, to respect (Y/n)’s feelings, and to be a silent witness to her disappointment.

As Sungho continued to comfort her, Jaehyun felt a resolve forming within him. Next time, I’ll help her. I’ll make sure she knows how talented she really is.

For now, he would let (Y/n) have her moment, and when she was ready, he would be there to support her, whether as a rival or something more. With a heavy heart, he turned away from the bulletin board, his mind swirling with thoughts of how to approach her when the time was right.

After the exam results were posted, Jaehyun felt a knot of anxiety in his stomach whenever he thought about approaching (Y/n). The way she had reacted to the results still stung, and he couldn’t shake the fear that she would be just as cold as before. Often, he would catch sight of her in the library or around campus, wanting to reach out but ultimately chickening out at the last moment.

Meanwhile, (Y/n) noticed his distance. She saw him lingering at the edge of her vision, a familiar figure she had come to associate with her study sessions. Part of her missed his cheerful presence, the way he effortlessly brightened the atmosphere. Yet another part felt relieved he wasn’t there to distract her anymore. She could focus on her studies, free from the competitive energy that had colored their interactions.

As days turned into a week, (Y/n) found herself reflecting on their last conversation. The tension had been palpable, but beneath her frustration was a flicker of something else—something that made her think about Jaehyun more than she cared to admit. Still, she convinced herself that keeping her distance was best. She didn’t want to be distracted again.

One afternoon, while deeply engrossed in her textbooks, she sensed someone nearby. She glanced up to find Jaehyun standing there, looking both hopeful and hesitant. He seemed to want to say something, but the hesitation in his posture was clear.

“Jaehyun,” she said, trying to sound indifferent but unable to hide the slight tremor in her voice.

He took a tentative step closer. “Hey, (Y/n). Can we talk?”

“Actually,” she interjected, her voice sharper than intended, “I’d prefer it if you went away.”

His expression shifted instantly, the brightness in his eyes dimming. Jaehyun's lower lip trembled slightly, and for a brief moment, tears glistened at the corners of his eyes. The sight of him looking so vulnerable tugged at (Y/n)’s heart, but she pushed the feeling aside.

“Okay…” he whispered, shoulders slumping. He turned to walk away, casting one last glance over his shoulder as if hoping she’d change her mind.

Watching him leave, (Y/n) felt an unfamiliar ache in her chest, but she steeled herself. This was for the best, she told herself. It had to be.

Jaehyun trudged across the campus, his heart still heavy from (Y/n)’s rejection. As he made his way to the sunlit courtyard, he spotted his two best friends, Taesan and Riwoo, lounging on a blanket, a couple of books spread out beside them, music playing softly in the background. The warmth of the sun contrasted sharply with the chill in his heart.

He approached them, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders. Without a word, he laid down on the blanket, facing the ground, wishing he could disappear into the grass.

“Hey, Jae,” Taesan said, noticing the unusual silence. “What’s up? You look like someone just kicked your puppy.”

“Yeah, man, you okay?” Riwoo added, peering at him with concern. “You’ve been out of it lately.”

Jaehyun sighed deeply, the weight of his emotions too heavy to hide. “I just… I talked to (Y/n) today.”

“Oh?” Taesan leaned forward, intrigued. “Did it go well?”

Jaehyun shook his head, his voice muffled against the blanket. “No, she told me to go away.”

The air around them shifted as his friends exchanged worried glances. “Dude, that sucks,” Riwoo said gently. “I’m sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.”

Jaehyun felt a pang of frustration. “It’s not that simple. She’s been so focused on beating me in class. I think I just annoy her.”

“You’re not annoying!” Taesan protested, sitting up straighter. “You’re one of the best people I know. If she can’t see that, it’s her loss.”

“But she’s so brilliant, and I just…” Jaehyun’s voice trailed off, the weight of self-doubt creeping in again. “I don’t want to be a distraction for her. I just wanted to be friends.”

“Look, relationships are complicated,” Riwoo said, trying to offer some comfort. “It’s normal to feel this way. You two just need to communicate better. Maybe she’ll come around once she realizes how much you care.”

Jaehyun turned his head slightly to peek at them, the corners of his mouth twitching in a half-smile. “You really think so?”

“Absolutely,” Taesan affirmed, giving him a reassuring nudge. “But you’ve got to give her some space. And in the meantime, we’re here for you.”

With a heavy sigh, Jaehyun pushed himself up to sit, the warmth of the sun slowly melting away his sorrow. “Thanks, guys. I just hate feeling like this.”

“Let’s distract you,” Riwoo suggested, grinning. “How about we read some ridiculous books and laugh at them together?”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but chuckle, the heaviness in his chest lifting just a little. “Alright, I’m in.”

As they settled in together, the music filling the air and the warmth of the sun surrounding them, Jaehyun felt grateful for his friends—his heart might still be aching, but at least he wasn’t alone.

(Y/n) buried herself in her studies, her textbooks sprawled across her desk like an insurmountable mountain. The pressure to be the best consumed her, and the fear of returning home with anything less than top marks loomed over her like a dark cloud. Her parents had always been strict, and she couldn’t bear the thought of their disappointment.

Days turned into nights, and as time passed, her dedication morphed into an unhealthy obsession. She barely slept, skipping meals, convinced that distractions would lead her away from her goals. The exhaustion was palpable, but she pushed through, telling herself it was just a phase she had to endure.

As Jaehyun walked through campus one day, he noticed her at a study table in the library, her face pale and eyes sunken. He frowned, feeling a sense of worry creep in. It was unusual for (Y/n) to look so worn down; her usual intensity seemed muted, replaced by an almost fragile demeanor. He exchanged glances with Sungho, who had just arrived.

“Is she okay?” Jaehyun asked quietly, nodding toward (Y/n).

Sungho sighed, his brow furrowed with concern. “I don’t think so. She’s been at it for days without a break.”

“I want to say something, but… I don’t know how,” Jaehyun admitted, feeling a mix of anxiety and helplessness. He had always admired (Y/n)’s drive but couldn’t shake the feeling that she was pushing herself too hard.

Just then, (Y/n) swayed slightly in her chair, her hand trembling as she reached for her notes. Before either of them could react, she suddenly collapsed, the sound of her books hitting the floor echoing in the quiet library.

“(Y/n)!” Jaehyun and Sungho rushed to her side, panic flooding their senses. Sungho knelt down, checking her pulse while Jaehyun fumbled for his phone to call for help.

A few moments later, they found themselves in the nurse’s office, (Y/n) lying unconscious on the bed. The nurse was tending to her, but Jaehyun could only focus on the fear gnawing at him.

Sungho sat beside her, his expression a mixture of worry and guilt. “I should have noticed sooner. She’s been under so much pressure.”

Jaehyun looked at him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Her parents… they expect her to be perfect,” Sungho explained quietly, glancing at (Y/n) as she lay there, pale and still. “They’re really strict about her grades. Second place is never good enough for them.”

Jaehyun’s heart sank. “I had no idea. I thought she just wanted to win against me.”

Sungho shook his head. “It’s more than that for her. She feels like she has to prove herself, and it’s tearing her apart. She never wants to let anyone down.”

Jaehyun felt a knot in his stomach as he processed Sungho's words. “I thought you two were… you know, together.”

“No, we’re just friends,” Sungho replied, looking down. “I care about her, but it’s tough for me to get through to her when she’s so focused on her studies. I wish I could help her more.”

Feeling a sense of urgency, Jaehyun leaned forward. “We have to make sure she knows she doesn’t have to do this alone. She deserves better than this pressure.”

Sungho nodded, determination in his eyes. “Agreed. When she wakes up, we’ll talk to her. She needs to understand that she can lean on us.”

As they sat there, the weight of their shared concern hung heavy in the air. Jaehyun glanced at (Y/n), wishing he could reach out and tell her everything would be okay. They just had to help her find her way back to herself.

Four hours later, (Y/n) slowly stirred awake, the dim light of the nurse’s office filtering through her heavy eyelids. As she blinked into focus, she was surprised to find Jaehyun sitting beside her, his expression a mix of worry and relief. His eyes were glossy, and for a moment, she just laid there, taking in the sight of him.

Gone was the puppy-like exuberance that usually characterized his demeanor. Instead, he looked vulnerable, as if the weight of the world rested on his shoulders. For the first time, she noticed how handsome he truly was—not with anger or jealousy, but with a strange sense of admiration, maybe even something deeper.

Jaehyun didn’t notice her waking at first, his gaze lost in thought. But when he finally met her eyes, his expression shifted instantly. “(Y/n)!” he exclaimed, relief flooding his voice. “What happened? Are you okay?”

She hesitated for a moment, feeling the warmth of his concern envelop her. “I… I guess I overdid it a bit,” she replied softly, avoiding his gaze as embarrassment washed over her.

“Overdid it?” Jaehyun echoed, his brow furrowing in concern. “You collapsed! You need to take care of yourself.”

A lump formed in her throat at the sincerity in his voice. “I know. I was just trying to be the best. I thought if I worked hard enough, it would all pay off.”

He shook his head, frustration creeping into his voice. “You don’t have to do this alone, (Y/n). You’re already amazing, and no one is expecting you to be perfect.”

She met his gaze, the warmth in his eyes contrasting sharply with her own self-doubt. “It’s not just about me,” she whispered, feeling a wave of vulnerability wash over her. “I can’t let my parents down. They want so much from me.”

“I get that,” Jaehyun said, his tone softening. “But you’re more than just your grades. You have friends who care about you—friends who want to support you, including me.”

At his words, a flicker of something new ignited in her chest, a feeling she hadn’t allowed herself to acknowledge before. Maybe it was a growing fondness, or perhaps even the start of something deeper.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, finally allowing herself to take in the concern etched on his face. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

Jaehyun smiled, though it was tinged with sadness. “Just promise me you’ll take a break and let us help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

“Okay,” (Y/n) replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “I promise.”

As the two shared a moment of understanding, something shifted between them—a connection forged in vulnerability and care. She couldn’t shake the warmth blooming in her chest, and as she looked at Jaehyun, she felt a sense of comfort she hadn’t realized she needed.

After that day in the nurse's office, Jaehyun made it his mission to ensure (Y/n) took care of herself. He often found her at the library or in the café, surrounded by textbooks and notes, and each time he spotted her, he felt a surge of determination to help her find balance.

“Hey, (Y/n),” he greeted one afternoon as he approached her usual study spot. She looked up, surprise flickering across her face. “I brought you lunch.”

She blinked at the small container he set down beside her. “You didn’t have to do that,” she said, though the hint of a smile betrayed her appreciation.

“I know, but you need to eat,” he replied, flashing a bright smile. “Studying on an empty stomach isn’t a good idea.”

She hesitated but then relented. “Okay, just a little.”

As she opened the container, Jaehyun settled down beside her, digging into his own lunch. They shared a comfortable silence for a moment, the ambient sounds of the café surrounding them.

Deciding to lighten the mood, Jaehyun broke the quiet. “So, what’s your favorite childhood memory?” he asked, genuinely curious.

(Y/n) looked thoughtful, her fork pausing mid-air. “Hmm, that’s a tough one. I think it would be the summer I spent with my cousins at my grandparents’ house. We built the craziest forts in the backyard out of blankets and chairs.”

Jaehyun grinned, leaning in. “That sounds awesome! What kind of forts did you make?”

“On the last day, we made this huge castle,” she recalled, a nostalgic smile spreading across her face. “We even pretended to be knights and princesses, complete with cardboard swords. I still remember how silly we looked.”

“I love that! I used to do something similar with my friends,” Jaehyun said, his eyes lighting up. “We’d build spaceships out of old boxes and pretend to go on intergalactic adventures. I was always the pilot.”

“Of course you were,” (Y/n) teased lightly, her expression softening. “Did you have a special spaceship name?”

“Absolutely! It was the Star Chaser,” he said, puffing out his chest in mock pride. “We would save the universe from aliens and go on wild missions. It felt so real back then.”

“Sounds like you had quite the imagination!” (Y/n) chuckled, feeling the weight of her worries lift a little. “I miss those carefree days.”

“Me too,” Jaehyun replied, a hint of wistfulness in his voice. “Life seemed so simple back then. But I guess we can still create fun moments, right?”

“Definitely,” she agreed, her heart warming at his words. “I’d love to go on some sort of adventure like that again, even if it’s just a picnic in the park or something.”

“Count me in! I’ll bring the snacks,” he said, excitement bubbling in his voice. “It could be like our own little mission.”

As they continued to share childhood stories—memories filled with laughter, imagination, and innocence—(Y/n) found herself laughing more, the pressure of her studies momentarily forgotten.

With each story Jaehyun shared, her fondness for him deepened, sparking a connection that felt both new and comfortable. It was a strange and wonderful sensation, one that made her heart flutter in ways she hadn’t anticipated.

Two weeks had passed since Jaehyun first began his mission to ensure (Y/n) was taking care of herself. He was relentless in his efforts to make her eat and take breaks from her studies, bringing her lunch, snacks, and even the occasional dessert. With each passing day, their conversations deepened, and a connection blossomed that Jaehyun found both exhilarating and terrifying.

As he sat in his favorite spot in the café, his friends Taesan and Riwoo flanking him, Jaehyun couldn’t shake the nervous energy buzzing in his chest. He fiddled with the edge of his napkin, his mind racing as he contemplated the idea of asking (Y/n) out on a date.

“You’re overthinking it, man,” Taesan said, breaking into his thoughts. “Just go for it!”

“Easy for you to say,” Jaehyun replied, glancing at his friends. “What if she says no?”

Riwoo leaned in, a teasing grin on his face. “Then you’re back to being friends. But at least you won’t be stuck wondering ‘what if’ for the rest of your life.”

“I don’t know, guys,” Jaehyun mumbled, feeling his anxiety bubble up again. “What if I ruin everything? We’ve been getting closer, and I really like where we are.”

Sungho, who had joined them after grabbing a drink, chimed in. “You like her, right? You know she’s single, so just be honest with her. You have my support, dude.”

Jaehyun sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I know, but… what if she doesn’t feel the same? I mean, she’s been through so much already. I don’t want to add more pressure.”

“Dude, you’ve been there for her through thick and thin. If anything, she’ll appreciate your honesty,” Taesan encouraged. “Plus, she’s been smiling more since you’ve been hanging out. That has to mean something.”

Jaehyun couldn’t help but recall the way (Y/n)’s eyes sparkled when she talked about her favorite memories. Those moments, filled with laughter and warmth, fueled his resolve. But still, he felt the weight of uncertainty pressing down on him.

“I just need the right moment,” he murmured, glancing toward the door as (Y/n) entered the café, her hair catching the light in a way that made his heart skip. She looked tired but brighter than usual, and Jaehyun felt his breath hitch.

“Look, there she is!” Riwoo said, nudging him playfully. “You’ve got this, Jaehyun!”

As (Y/n) made her way to their table, Jaehyun’s nerves surged, and he fought the urge to back out. She greeted them with a smile, and for a brief moment, he forgot all his doubts. But as she settled into the seat across from him, his heart raced with the weight of what he was contemplating.

“Hey, what are you all talking about?” she asked, a curious smile playing on her lips.

“Oh, just plotting world domination,” Jaehyun joked, trying to ease the tension in his chest. But even as he laughed, he felt the growing urgency to take the next step.

With his friends rallying behind him and (Y/n) sitting just a few feet away, he knew he couldn’t let this chance slip away. But for now, all he could do was savor the moment and hope for the courage to come.

Jaehyun paced nervously in his room, the bright afternoon sun streaming through the window. He had come up with a plan that made his heart race—he would ask (Y/n) to be his date for the upcoming dance. Sungho had mentioned that several others had asked her already, but she’d turned them down, saying she was waiting for someone else.

That “someone” was going to be him.

Determined to make it memorable, Jaehyun spent the day preparing something special. He picked out a bouquet of vibrant flowers—bright sunflowers and cheerful daisies—and added a cute golden retriever plushie, knowing it would remind her of his playful spirit. Finally, he crafted a big sign that read, “Wanna go with this puppy to the dance?”

With everything packed neatly into a bag, he headed to (Y/n)’s favorite café, where he knew she often studied. His heart raced with each step, excitement and anxiety intertwining as he approached the familiar entrance.

As he entered, he spotted her at a corner table, her nose buried in a book. Jaehyun took a deep breath, reminding himself of Sungho's words—she was waiting for him. This was it.

He approached her table, trying to keep his nerves in check. “Hey, (Y/n)!” he said, forcing a casual tone.

She looked up, her expression shifting from surprise to something more guarded. “Oh, Jaehyun. What’s up?”

With a flourish, he set down the flowers, plushie, and the sign on the table. “I have a question for you!”

(Y/n)’s eyes widened slightly as she took in the colorful display. “What’s all this?” she asked, trying to maintain her usual cool demeanor, but the corners of her mouth betrayed her.

“Wanna go with this puppy to the dance?” he asked, his voice brimming with hope as he gestured to the sign.

For a moment, (Y/n) tried to keep a straight face, her expression almost icy as she processed the surprise before her. But the warmth radiating from Jaehyun’s smile was infectious, and she felt her resolve slipping.

“Jaehyun…” she began, struggling to keep her tone neutral, but her heart was racing. “This is… very unexpected.”

His eyes sparkled with anticipation, clearly waiting for her answer. “So, what do you think?”

Her façade faltered, and a genuine smile broke through as she looked at the flowers and the plushie. “You’re ridiculous,” she said, unable to hide the happiness blooming inside her.

“But you like it?” he pressed, hope hanging in the air.

“I—” she started, then paused, glancing at the other customers in the café who were now watching their interaction. She felt a mix of embarrassment and excitement, her heart racing at the thought of saying yes.

Jaehyun leaned in slightly, his expression earnest. “I just wanted to do something special, and I really like you. So, what do you say?”

Caught between wanting to maintain her “black-cat” demeanor and the undeniable joy his gesture sparked, (Y/n) found herself at a crossroads. She took a deep breath, her cold exterior wavering under his bright smile. “I... need a moment to think about it.”

Jaehyun’s smile dimmed slightly, but he nodded, understanding her need for space. “Of course. Just know that I’d really love to go with you.”

As he turned to leave, (Y/n) couldn’t help but feel a warmth spreading through her chest. The idea of going to the dance with Jaehyun felt thrilling, even if she tried to mask it. As he walked away, she couldn’t shake the smile that threatened to break free—after all, who could resist that infectious grin?

Jaehyun stepped out of the café, a mix of disappointment and anticipation swirling in his chest. He had tried so hard to muster the courage, and now, as he walked away, he felt a weight settling on him. Just as he reached the sidewalk, he heard a familiar voice call out.

“Jaehyun!”

He turned around, his heart racing as he saw (Y/n) sprinting toward him, flowers and the plushie clutched tightly in her hands. The determination in her eyes made him pause, a spark of hope igniting within him.

Before he could say anything, (Y/n) closed the distance, grabbing his face and kissing him passionately. The warmth of her lips took him completely by surprise, and for a moment, everything else faded away.

When she pulled back, breathless and glowing, she smiled playfully. “I want to go with you to the dance,” she said, the words flowing effortlessly.

Jaehyun’s heart soared, a wave of joy crashing over him. “Really? You mean it?” he exclaimed, a grin spreading across his face. “I thought you were going to say no!”

“Why would I say no?” she teased, her eyes sparkling. “It took you long enough to ask, though!”

His excitement bubbled over as he stepped closer, his heart racing. “So it’s really a date? I can’t believe this!”

“Yes, it’s definitely a date,” she confirmed, her laughter infectious.

With that, Jaehyun couldn’t contain himself any longer. He leaned in and kissed her again, this time filled with joy and the promise of everything to come. As they pulled apart, both of them were grinning like children, the world around them bursting with possibilities.

“Okay, let’s plan something amazing!” he said, his eyes shining with excitement. He could hardly believe this was real.

After the exhilarating kiss, Jaehyun stepped back, his heart still racing. As he looked into (Y/n)'s eyes, a thought struck him. “Wait, you said it took me long to ask you!” he exclaimed, a playful pout forming on his lips. “I mean, I really tried to gather my courage!”

(Y/n) chuckled, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Well, you did keep me waiting.”

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair, feeling a rush of emotions. “You have no idea how hard it was for me! I was terrified of being rejected—especially by you. I mean, academics come easily to me, but love? That’s a whole different story.”

She watched him, her expression softening. “I had no idea you felt that way. You always seem so confident.”

“Confident? Me?” Jaehyun laughed, shaking his head. “I’m like a puppy trying to chase a shadow half the time! When it comes to you, I didn’t want to mess it up.”

(Y/n) smiled, her heart warming at his sincerity. “Well, you didn’t mess it up. You’re here now, and that’s what matters.”

“Yeah, but for a while, I thought I’d never get the chance to ask,” he admitted, a hint of vulnerability in his voice. “I kept seeing you with those other guys, and I thought, ‘What if she chooses someone else?’”

“But you didn’t give up,” she said softly. “You kept trying.”

“Because I really like you,” he replied earnestly, his eyes locking onto hers. “I didn’t want to just be friends anymore. I wanted more, and I was scared that if I failed at this, I’d lose you altogether.”

(Y/n)’s heart fluttered at his words. “You don’t have to be scared anymore,” she said gently. “We’re going to figure this out together.”

Jaehyun beamed, feeling a surge of hope. “Together,” he echoed, his excitement returning. “I can’t wait for the dance, and now I can finally relax knowing I didn’t mess it up.”

As they walked side by side, (Y/n) couldn’t help but tease him. “So, I guess you really are a lovesick puppy now, huh?”

Jaehyun laughed, a lightness in his heart. “Guilty as charged! But you know, I think I wear it well. What do you think? Am I pulling off the puppy look?”

“Oh, definitely,” she replied, smirking. “Just don’t start barking or wagging your tail in public.”

He feigned shock, placing a hand over his heart. “Barking? I would never! Maybe just a little excited yipping when I see you, though.”

(Y/n) chuckled, shaking her head. “I can’t believe I’m going to the dance with such a dork.”

“Hey, dorkiness is part of my charm!” he said, puffing out his chest playfully. “And I’ll make sure to bring my best puppy eyes to win you over even more.”

“Just don’t overdo it,” she teased. “I might get overwhelmed by all that adorableness.”

Jaehyun grinned, the warmth between them making the world around them feel brighter. “Adorableness is my specialty, especially when it comes to you.”

She smiled back, feeling a flutter in her chest. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to see how adorable you can be at the dance.”

“Challenge accepted!” he declared, his excitement palpable as they continued walking, both of them looking forward to what lay ahead.

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restlessmaknae · 1 month ago

Text

i'll be the sun // taesan

The last person Taesan - the leader of the school band - expected to bond over music with was you, the head of the Maths club.

➳ Characters: high school senior!Taesan x high school senior!female reader/you

➳ Genre: high school au, rich kids au, slow burn, coming of age, fluff, some real-life bittersweet parts

➳ Words: 8.1k

➳ Warning: mentions of parental pressure, insecurities, reader had a fall-out with her ex best friend, crying

➳ A/N: This story had the most votes in my recent poll, so here it is! I had a lot of fun writing it because music, Taesan and slow burn stories are a good combo.

This is also a spin-off to my Leehan story, but you don't have to read that one to understand Taesan's part

➳ Dedicated to: @dat-town ❤️

VOTE HERE IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN A TAESAN POV CHAPTER!

You couldn't say that you were looking forward to senior year to start. Moreso, you were looking forward to it to end.

After all, if it was over, you would be over your exams, and if the exams were over, you would be closer to your dream university. Until then, all the assignments seemed daunting, all the extracurricular activities seemed bothersome, and all the tests seemed life-changing. The last thing you expected was to fall in love along the way, but alas, life had a funny way to change your plans.

It all started on a Tuesday. At least, for you, it did.

Since you were the head of the Maths club, you left school later on Tuesdays because that's when you had your weekly club activity. After wrapping things up, you usually stayed behind to print out some more materials for next week and to organise the ones you collected. You also cleaned out the classroom you booked since the cleaning lady usually cleaned the basement during your time slot, not after.

So it was well past 7PM when you made your way back to the homeroom to pick up your PE bag because you didn't want to drag it with you all the way to the basement. You had some books left on your desk either way.

You stepped inside the classroom mindlessly, but you stopped dead in your tracks when you caught sight of someone already there. Taesan was leaning against his seat in the last row, playing on his guitar and bobbing his head to a song with his earphones in. He turned towards the windows with half of his body, so he didn't see you coming in. You noticed that he also closed his eyes while he was playing.

You weren't afraid of Taesan's reaction as per se, but he seemed like he was in his own bubble, and you didn't want to burst it. Alas, you had to get your bag and books, so you tiptoed into the classroom, hoping that the boy wouldn’t hear you moving.

You scooped up your books and threw the sports bag over your shoulder, and not until you turned around, did you realise that you knew the song Taesan was playing. You knew it all too well, and the momentary realisation made you halt just in time for Taesan to open his eyes and take in your presence. He removed his earphones and gazed at you - a bit tentative, but mostly curious.

For a moment, you had no idea how to react. The boy was as unbothered as you were, but there was still some awkwardness lingering in the air, not because it was embarrassing to be in the classroom with someone you didn’t usually talk with, but because you two were very different students on the verge of adulthood, and it was awkward to get caught up in a situation like this.

Not to mention that it felt a bit like déjavu, the flashback from the summer class trip pulling you back to reality.

“It was ‘I Don’t Love You’, right?” You found yourself asking, holding onto the straps of your sports bag to hold onto anything, except the memory from that night during the class trip.

Something flashed in Taesan’s eyes, and you knew immediately that you were right, though there was no reason to deny it. Even though Taesan was the leader of the school band, thus he knew quite a lot about the technical parts of making music, you had never heard him make a comment on anyone’s music taste. What he thought internally was a different question.

“Do you listen to MCR?” He quirked an eyebrow, and still, there was no malice in his voice. If anything, his interest was piqued.

“Yeah, I do.”

“Cool. Me too,” he bobbed his head casually, and you were about to say that you had a feeling that he did since he was playing the band’s song when the cleaning lady marched into the classroom, and made her presence very much known with her high-pitched exclamation:

“What are you doing here at this hour, kids? Go home!”

You heard Taesan scoff behind you, but you didn’t object. You both packed up your stuff and headed out of the classroom, the now empty corridor filled with the cacophony of your footsteps. As far as you could remember, you had never walked side by side with Taesan like this. You had very different interests, he had his own friend group and well… you didn’t, so your interactions were limited to strictly school-related things like group projects, helping out the boy with a Maths task, and being sat beside each other on a class trip.

Yet, it seemed that you now had something to talk about, and Taesan took advantage of that.

“What’s your favourite MCR song?”

You didn’t even have to think twice about the answer.

“ ‘Teenagers’. You might find it funny, but whenever I step foot into the school, this song comes to mind,” you shared with him as you craned your head to look up at him, just in time to catch an amused smile playing along his lips. You had a feeling you didn’t need to tell him why, all those teenagers at school really did scare you sometimes. “What about you?”

“My favourite one is ‘I Don’t Love You’, but since you recognised it, you must know it already,” he answered a bit shyly, scratching the back of his neck as if he was embarrassed.

It was a new sight for you since Taesan was usually straightforward and confident, someone who seemed to be totally at ease with himself. You sometimes envied the way he carried himself; so coolly as if nothing could bother him, and as if he knew exactly what he wanted to do with his life. When you looked into the mirror, all you could see was anxiety and question marks floating around your head, and even though you thought you would gain some confidence from being a straight-A student, it did just the opposite. It fuelled your insecurities even more.

You directed a half-smile at the boy, not sure what to do with his reaction, and kept walking towards the entrance on the ground floor. Taesan inquired what kind of artists you listened to other than MCR, and he seemed so excited to talk about his favourite ones that he barely realised that he was waiting with you at the wrong bus stop. You knew that he usually went home with the bus departing from the stop opposite yours because having no friends anymore meant that you were observant like that.

“Oh sorry, I have to go,” he excused himself when you pointed out that his bus was coming. “See you tomorrow!” He bid his farewell while already running towards the vehicle, his guitar case rhythmically hitting his side and his school bag sliding down his right shoulder.

You watched him leave and take a seat on the bus while panting, his hair dishevelled, his tie loose around his neck. He was so different from you who knew the whole bus timetable by heart, never ever even ran after a bus, and always kept herself in check. However, as he caught you staring and gave you a little wave of his hand, you realised that deep down, you wished to be more like him.

And what was sad about it was that you knew that the only one holding you back from being more like him was actually you.

With the third week of the new term starting came the announcement of the random draw for the annual sports’ day. KOZ International High’s sports’ day was your school’s version of ISAC, and even though you were all coming from influential families and all the students had probably enough money to attend the Olympics games in the VIP section, no one complained about the event. In fact, it was all the school magazine and school radio could talk about for almost two months, and everyone tried to put effort into practising for their own games to not lose face.

Each year, all the classes participated in four different categories - mixed 4 x 100 m relay, archery, swimming and dance -, going up against one another within each year. The only category that allowed students to sign up for was dance as only groups could participate, and they needed to be formed in time to seem somewhat professional. Each year, this was the competition everyone was looking forward to the most since usually professional dancers signed up - like Baekseung, Minwoo and Haruto who always won the dance category in your year.

For all the other categories, there was a random draw during homeroom where your teacher announced who should be participating in which category. For freshman and sophomore year, you had been selected for swimming, last year for archery, and this year, you were asked to do the mixed relay with Millie, Pierre and Taesan. Which wouldn’t have been a problem if Pierre hadn’t insisted on making a groupchat for you all and having practice sessions each week to prepare for the sports day at the end of October.

“We can practise in our own free time. I don’t understand why we should all be gathering in one place each week,” you pointed out matter-of-factly when you had your first “team meeting” on the day of the draw.

“Because it’s about team spirit, you know? You might feel more motivated to run your part if you can see others cheering you on,” Pierre pointed out with unnecessarily grand hand gestures, and you needed to hold yourself back from rolling your eyes. However, you caught Taesan watching him with an unamused stare, and the sight made you feel less edgy.

“Besides, we need to practise giving each other the baton. I’ve heard that it can make or break a team’s performance,” Millie chirped in, looking up from her phone on which she was typing up until this moment.

This was exactly the reason you had enjoyed doing archery and swimming for the past 3 years. You had been alone with no team to weigh you down or ask you for unnecessary team meetings. You had practised in your own time at your own pace, problem solved. However, the first obstacle came already when you realised that there was not a single day during the week when you could all be free after classes.

“Can’t you just change the time for your band or club activity?” Pierre asked Taesan and you because you two had your extracurriculars on the same day, the only day when Millie and Pierre would be available.

“No.”

“No way,” you said at the exact same time as Taesan did, and you exchanged a glance, knowing all too well what those Tuesday after-school hours meant to both of you.

“Well, can’t you schedule your family dinner for the weekend, Millie?” Pierre tried again, and the deadly glare she got from the British girl was more than enough to shut him up. Even though none of you had a scheduled weekly family dinner, you knew how it was with rich families: studies and family came first, anything else second.

You brought your notebook closer to your face to examine your notes, and tried to calculate which day could work for everyone. Apparently, none did, so you came up with a different idea:

“Why don’t we practise in pairs? Since you and Millie are free on Tuesday afternoons, you can practise then. Taesan and I are free on Thursday afternoons, we can do it then.”

“But then it won’t be the saaaaame,” Millie pouted as if she had been told something awful, to which Taesan said dryly:

“That’s the only option.”

That managed to convince the two of them, and after a few more minutes of painfully cringe team spirit quotes, you could go on your own way. You immediately bolted off, having had enough of this nonsense, but Taesan fell in step with you, and asked if Thursday was really okay with you.

“Yeah, it’s fine. I just don’t want to sacrifice too much time for this, so maybe 30 minutes will do?”

“I was just about to suggest that,” Taesan nodded, a lopsided smile invading his lips, and it felt so easy, so light to talk to him that it actually surprised you. For a second too long, you watched that smile bloom on his lips, and for the first time in four years, you took in the boy’s pitch-black locks that sat messily on top of his head, his equally dark almond-shaped eyes, the defined features of his that were becoming more prominent by the day the closer he got to adulthood, and there was his lanky built, too…

Taesan caught you staring, and you immediately averted your eyes to the mess of the corridor around you instead of the boy’s face because for the first time, it felt scary to feel so light beside someone.

Pierre was very much not the leader type, but he could complain and spam the group chat with gifs of idols running (and failing sometimes). You didn't know what he was doing with all those hagwon classes he claimed to have which made your 4-member practices not work out because you all had hagwon after school, but he was chronically online. You noticed that from the class group chat either way, but it was different when there were only four of you this time and one of them was Taesan, the other one you - the two students who rather focused on their own duties, not this particular group chat.

It was all what students talked about though. Haruto chirped everyone's ears off about their (supposedly jaw-dropping) choreography, Leehan couldn't stop pouting that he and the class president didn't get selected for running, so that they could be in the same team - since they had officially started dating after the summer trip -, and the usual banter between classes started about who would win. This year, Anton - the national swimming champion - didn't get selected for swimming unlike last year, so even that would be an unpredictable competition for the boys.

Honestly, you weren't one for running, but it was something that you could enjoy at times because it helped you concentrate on something other than school. Other times, running around the field wasn't enough to take your mind off the deliberating amount of school work. Especially not when your ex best-friend, Selina, showed up on the field to practise the choreography she and two other girls had come up with for the dance competition.

It was like she was a completely new person - wearing a noticeable amount of make-up instead of her usual no make-up make-up, trying out dancing that she had never dared before and hanging out with girls she had claimed to not particularly like -, and it hurt to see that. Not because you felt envious because of the 180-turn of hers, but because she had said on that one night during the summer trip that she was sick of feeling like second place beside you.

Just because you usually performed better than she did, you had never ever looked at her like a competition, like a charity case. What's more, you enjoyed studying together with her because you were around the same level. Even though your mother cared about your 2nd place at school (after the class president who was always 1st), you had never cared about Selina's 3rd or 4th place.

Clearly, she felt differently.

"Is everything okay?" Taesan's raspy yet gentle voice brought you back to reality, and you immediately turned your head towards him.

"Yeah. Everything's fine," you answered, though you could feel how uncertain the words sounded. How feeble you sounded. "I just... I think it's enough for me for today," you announced, looking down at your wristwatch that indicated that you had started running only 10 minutes ago. You were nowhere near the end of your usual 30-minute session.

"That's fine. I don't really feel like doing it anymore today," the boy shrugged nonchalantly, and you wondered if it was true, or if he was just trying to make you feel better. Either way, you felt grateful for his cool attitude, and went to the changing room without as much as looking back at Selina and the two other girls.

After you got changed and grabbed your stuff, you still found yourself walking towards the windows that were overlooking the school field. Selina did seem a bit awkward, her limbs not catching up with the rhythm, but you couldn't tell whether she actually enjoyed it or not, and that was what gawked at you. The fact that it had been mere months, and you already couldn't tell how she was feeling. Were you always this bad at recognising her feelings? Was this why you had never noticed her feeling like she was someone less worthy than you? Was she right? Had you really made everyone feel insignificant around you?

Something broke in you at the thought, and you found yourself breathless for a moment, holding onto the windowsill for support. You felt tears pricking your eyes, but you were too preoccupied with the tightness of your chest to care. You tried so hard to hold it back, to hold your feelings back ever since the term started that you believed that you could do it without breaking down.

Turns out you were wrong.

"Hey, Y/N! What's wrong?"

Even though Taesan was only a few steps away, his voice felt like it was coming from many miles away. You didn’t look up at him, you didn’t dare to because you didn’t want him to see your tears. Have you ever achieved anything by crying? No. Just more humiliation and more disapproving words from your parents.

“Gosh, this is so embarrassing,” you mumbled, hoping that Taesan would just leave. On the other hand, Taesan didn’t budge for a few seconds, but then, he gently directed you to the closest room and closed the door behind you two.

Suddenly, you were surrounded by the smell of leather and there was this unmistakable smell of a storage room coming from all the different types of sports equipment you used for PE classes. You had rarely been here before since it was usually the class-president and vice-president who had the duty to collect the equipment for class, but it was quiet, and there were no curious eyes around, just Taesan’s concerned ones.

You were waiting - no, anticipating would be a better word - for the boy to speak up, to tell you to stop crying, but he stood there, looking up from under his long eyelashes, orbs shining worriedly. He then reached into the pocket of his bag and reached out a few crumpled yet clean tissues.

His gesture just made everything hurt tenfold.

“Why aren’t you telling me that it’s indeed embarrassing, and to stop crying?” You inquired, confused, eyeing the tissues in his hands. The boy looked taken aback by your question at first, eyes furrowed, creases deeping on his forehead, before his features smoothened out, softened to a gentle degree.

“I can’t tell you how you should feel. If that’s how you feel, I don’t have the right to go against it, but personally I don’t feel embarrassed by the sight of you crying,” he confessed so genuinely, so honestly that you teared up immediately. It was like something awakened inside of you, a part of you that you had hidden so deep that now that it surfaced, it felt unfamiliar and wrong.

You reached for the tissues to dry your eyes, but the tears just kept falling, and somewhere along the way, accompanied by your pained sobs, you found yourself telling Taesan the story behind your argument with Selina. He had been there at the peak of it anyway - just trying to tell you and your ex-best friend that you could come down for the bonfire, but Selina hadn’t heard him behind her and kept on going. She had told you that you had been a terrible friend for not feeling sorry for her when she had always been a worse student than you, and that you didn’t see that you made everyone feel insignificant beside you, that’s why you had only her.

It had started so innocently, not even an argument, just talking about your senior year, but it spiralled down way too quickly, you had just stood there, listening to the girl you had called your best friend for 3 years tell you everything as if you had forced her to bottle things up. Back then, you had been too shocked to react in any way other than numbing your feelings, but now it all burst out. It was ugly, it was messy, but it was also very human, and Taesan didn’t say a derogatory word, he hummed at times to indicate that he was listening, but let you speak freely.

Which was odd, and at first, you didn’t even know what to do with it. Usually, your parents stopped you when you started complaining, and said that you shouldn’t overreact things. However, he didn’t interrupt you even when you were searching for words or blowing out your nose between sobs. He also kept giving you tissues, though he ran out of them after a while, and tucked his hands into the back pocket of his jeans to cover up his awkwardness.

By that time, you were feeling better but also worse. You were lighter than minutes ago, but you were also very, very tired. Maybe holding everything back was actually more exhausting than letting everything out in time.

“Thank you.”

You let the words hang between you two, let Taesan ruminate over it, but he just nodded as if it was nothing, and said with all the confidence in the world:

“Anytime.”

You couldn’t tell if it was intentional or accidental, but after a while, you and Taesan started walking towards the bus stop together on Tuesdays after both of you wrapped up your extracurricular activities. You talked about school to a certain extent, but more often than not, you exchanged song recommendations, sharing not just your favourite ones, but explaining which part was your favourite and why. Taesan was obviously more eloquent when it came to music, but he was always interested to hear your opinion, and didn’t put you down even if the best you could mutter sometimes was that the song made you feel something, though you couldn’t tell what.

You also had your relay practices on Thursday afternoons, and after the first two relatively quiet sessions, you developed the habit of cheering for the other when you measured your time, to see how much you improved. Pierre and Millie did the same, sharing their records with you in the groupchat, so that you could decide in which order you would be running at the event. It was going well, and even though it was exhausting to do this on top of schoolwork, at least you were with Taesan, not Pierre. Sharing silence with Taesan didn’t feel awkward, but you were sure that it would have felt horrible with Pierre.

September passed some lingering sunshine onto October, but as the weather turned colder, you chose to run in the gym hall instead of outside on the sports field. That day, Anton and Jungwon were practising archery together while you were running, but you were the first two to leave with Taesan.

You had heard that it would rain that day, so you had packed an umbrella with you, and how smart of you! You noted that it was indeed pouring inside while walking from the changing room to the entrance of the school. Your steps echoed the way the raindrops were hitting the ground on the other side of the big windows, a constant, never-ending melody. Drip drop, drip drop, step by step, step by step…

You halted only when you pushed the front door open, and found Taesan leaning onto a pillar, his hands tucked into the pockets of his pants. The tip of his Converse shoes was not fully covered by the roof he was standing under, thus, it got dotted with raindrops. He didn’t seem to notice. He did notice you though, and snapped his head back when he heard you take a few steps towards him.

“Are you waiting for someone?” You inquired casually. Not many of you commuted by public transport because most students lived in the student halls on campus. As it was an international high school, and the school attracted talent from all over the world, there were always enough rooms to accommodate every single student if they wished to make use of them. However, since you were from Seoul, and your parents liked to keep an eye on you during term time, you commuted, but it wasn’t bad, only a 25-minute bus ride.

On the other hand, you had always seen Taesan take the bus, so you wondered if it was different this time. Or maybe he was just trying to wait out the rain.

“Ah no,” he shook his head. “I just stopped to check my messages,” he held up the phone in his hand, and you nodded. He scratched the back of his neck, looking up at you with those big, affectionate eyes, and some icy part of your heart melted, drops of water accumulating around it like the puddles on the ground.

“Do you want to walk together? I have an umbrella,” you offered as you pointed at the big black umbrella in your left hand. Taesan looked at it, then back at you, and his lips curled upwards ever so slightly. From him though, that curve was equal to a grin.

So you opened your umbrella, holding it so that it would cover the boy who was taller than you, and it meant that you instinctively started leaning towards him. It didn’t go unnoticed by him, not when your shoulder bumped into his as you came to a halt at a crossroads. You exchanged a gaze, something that you broke almost immediately because you were sure that your face was flushed. You usually didn’t have a problem with closeness like this, but with him, it was different. It was somewhat more intimate.

“Your shoulder is getting wet,” he pointed out when he averted his eyes to your left shoulder, and caught sight of the raindrops sitting on your autumnal coat.

“It’s nothing, really.”

“Let me…” He mumbled as he reached for the handle, and you let him hold the umbrella over you two instead. He was taller either way, you decided, but then you saw that it was his shoulder that got rained on because he was holding it over you way more than he did it over himself.

“Gosh, you aren’t any better,” you huffed, not letting it slide. You grabbed the handle of the umbrella, but Taesan didn’t let go, so you just stood there, staring at each other in beautiful agony, your hands touching. Your heart fluttering, heat reaching your cheeks, you yanked your hand away, but stepped closer to the boy instead. “See, we can fit under it if we stand close enough to each other.”

“Is it close enough now?” He quirked an eyebrow, and there was a twitch in the corner of his mouth. You couldn’t decide whether there was a teasing edge to his words or a flirtatious one, and you weren’t sure which one would be better.

You gulped, looking away, and noticed the traffic lights turning green. Hence, you prompted the boy to start walking, so you could fall in step with him. He shook his head, and you swore there was an amused smile playing along his lips, but you were too focused on your own thumping heart to care.

You asked Taesan for a new song recommendation if he had any, and you shared one of your new favourite songs, too. It was ‘Beaches’ by beabadoobee, and for some reason, this song reminded you of the times you spent with the boy: light-hearted, reassuring, comforting. Like the first signs of spring - awakening, blooming, bringing warmth - after a long winter.

Of course, you didn’t tell him that, just that you liked the lyrics and the instrumentals used, but you were curious about his opinion. That’s what you did after all: sharing song recs, the other jotting it down in their notes app, listening to it and sharing their opinion on it either the next time you met in person or via Kakaotalk. This way, you always had something to look forward to in your days, and it was like a little safe haven from all the studying.

For the first time in forever, you didn’t even go through the timetable in your head to calculate when your bus would be coming, you only noticed it when it was already there.

“See you tomorrow,” Taesan said as he handed the umbrella back to you, and you found yourself smiling at his words. How reassuring it was to know that you would be meeting the next day as well.

“See you tomorrow,” you echoed with a lighter heart, watching while he was running to the other side of the road to hide from the rain under the bus stop’s shelter.

It was odd how your perception of Taesan could change in a matter of weeks. You felt a certain kind of fondness towards him now that you couldn't really put your hand on because you had never felt this way before, but you wanted only good things for him. You really wished he could become a musician one day because he truly deserved it. His band 'Insomnia' already uploaded covers onto Youtube, and had a fair share of views, and you liked to indulge yourself in their videos more often than you would admit. Even though all of them were very talented - Jungwon on the drums, Gyuvin on the synthesiser, Yechan and Taesan on the guitar -, your attention always gravitated towards Taesan and his voice. His voice was similar to his personality: multiple layered with many unexpected charms and softness hidden behind that edgy tone of his.

Though Taesan once inquired if you heard their songs and you admitted that you did, you thought that it wasn't that big of a deal. Most girls - and even guys - at school listened to them because they were fairly popular. Though Leehan was the most popular boy in your year, followed by Yechan with his jokester personality and ever-growing Youtube channel, the other members of the band also had their fair share of popularity. Then, there was Anton who was a national swimming champion, so naturally, everybody knew him, but he didn't really let his presence be known outside of the swimming pool, so it was a quiet kind of fame in his case.

Not that popularity really mattered in your eyes, but you found it somewhat heart fluttering that Taesan would be interested in your opinion regarding their band, and your conversations didn't stop even after the sports day when you came in second with your team. Only Pierre made a ruckus about it though, you and Taesan merely exchanged high-fives, and agreed that you were glad that it was over.

However, you didn't think that the boy would one day ask you if you wanted to hear a snippet of a song he was working on.

“Sure. If you don't mind,” you told him after a few seconds of silence while you were contemplating whether he was serious about asking for your opinion.

“It's not finished yet, I'm still trying to see what direction it should go in, but I'm curious what you think about it,” he explained as he brought his earphones out of his pocket, plugged it into his phone, tapped something on the screen and reached it out to you.

It was just you and him in the classroom as usual on Tuesdays, Taesan sitting in the seat behind yours. You turned around to face him, reluctantly grabbing his earphones and putting them into your ears. There was just something so intimate about this gesture of his: sharing his own song idea with you and sharing his own earphones with you that you needed to pacify your crazily beating heart to actually hear the song.

The snippet that you heard seemed to be the beginning of a love song, and the first thing that came to your mind was how cosy it was, and how easy it was to listen to it. It was something different from Insomnia’s usually punk-rock heavy songs, but the instrumentals were still there, just softer. Like how he had been acting around you despite his seemingly colder facade. The lyrics were about keeping ‘you’ in their memories, and promising to protect ‘you’ which sent a chill down your spine because for a moment, it felt like he was really singing to you.

Taesan kept his eyes on his phone's screen to see where the recording was at, so he immediately looked up when the song finished. He quirked an eyebrow in question while you took out the earphones.

“So…” He cleared his throat before continuing, albeit rather reluctantly. “How did you like it?”

“I liked it, I really did. It was softer than the songs you usually play, but I liked this side of you,” you remarked with a gentle smile, and something caught in his eyes which made you falter. If he was more shocked or just intrigued, you couldn't tell, but you... you were horrified. “I mean, this side of your music... uhmm... your music style.”

You were sure that you were blushing like crazy because how could that have just slipped out? Gosh, this was so embarrassing…

“But I would have made the beginning part a bit longer, so that it could stand out a bit more,” you added, hoping to save yourself from further embarrassment.

You averted your eyes to the desk instead of his face, so you couldn't tell how he reacted, but he jotted down your opinion nevertheless.

“Thanks. I was actually thinking of changing up that part, so thanks for reinforcing that idea.”

You dared to look up at him at this time, and there was this soft smile playing along his lips that made your stomach do somersaults. It was so rare to see him smile like that, and when you were the reason for it, all of your tenseness regarding your own actions melted away.

“Actually, I wanted to show you this song because…”

“Is it you two again?” Came the cleaning lady's indignant voice from the classroom door, and you both snapped your heads back to look at her. Hands on her hips, eyebrows furrowed, the elderly woman didn't seem too happy to find you two in the classroom after 7 o’ clock yet again.

You had to suffer through a few more reprimanding sentences of hers while you were packing up your stuff to leave. Once outside of the school, you asked Taesan what he was trying to say before.

“Ah nevermind,” he shrugged, looking away, and you didn't push him to tell you.

So you continued your walk to the bus stop like always, as if nothing happened, as if he hadn't just showed you a song that could make you question your own feelings towards him, and ultimately, his own feelings towards you.

On Tuesdays, it was usually you who finished sooner, and Taesan was already in the classroom by the time you made your way back there. Not this time though.

You managed to bump into the whole band when you walked out of the room you booked for the Maths club. Unbeknownst to you, you halted in front of the four boys, your eyes darting between Taesan and the rest of the guys.

“Oh hey, Y/N!” Yechan cheered excitedly, grinning widely. You reciprocated his greeting and his smile, holding the notebook and the folder you used to your chest.

“Done with the Maths club for today?” Gyuvin inquired, and you immediately confirmed that you did, but then you realised that he didn’t necessarily have to know what you were doing there. After all, if it hadn’t been for Taesan, you wouldn’t have known that Insomnia was practising on Tuesdays at this time around.

“How do you know that?”

“Oh well,” the boy boasted a childish grin, gazing at Taesan from time to time to signal his answer to you, but the head of the school band appeared nonchalant. “Somebody did tell us about it.”

“Not even just once, but multiple times,” Jungwon chimed in, sharing the boys’ teasing, and you had to sniffle a giggle at Taesan’s reaction. The boy tried so hard to seem totally unaffected by the obvious callout, but he was avoiding your eyes, chewing on his lower lip, his hands flying to the back of his neck to scratch it. Something that he did when he was ever so scarcely embarrassed.

“I see,” you hummed knowingly, amused by the guys’ little display of playfulness before Yechan smacked his head.

“Oh guys, I think we need somewhere to be! You know, the thing I told you about before practice…” He announced out of the blue, and even though a flash of surprise crossed Gyuvin’s face, he recovered quickly, and both him and Jungwon acted like they knew exactly what he was talking about. Taesan, on the other hand, seemed awfully perplexed with his furrowed eyebrows and forehead creases.

“Now let’s go, let’s not waste any time. See you at school tomorrow, Taesan! And Y/N, of course,” Yechan hollered before exiting the scene, followed by the grinning Gyuvin and a smiling Jungwon who looked like he came straight out of a toothpaste commercial.

You watched them leave with a light-hearted smile, then looked at the boy in front of you who seemed awfully nervous. It was vastly different to who he really was - the usually cool and composed Han Taesan, the leader of Insomnia, someone who had never lost his patience before. Now, he seemed like a lost kitten who couldn’t find their way around an alley, and the thought made your lips curve upwards.

“Heading to the bus stop?” You asked matter-of-factly, hoping to ease the slight awkwardness in the air.

Taesan’s shoulders visibly dropped when he caught your gaze, and he was about to open his mouth, but closed it in the end. You quirked an eyebrow, suddenly confused by his gesture, but then he spoke up:

“Actually, do you remember that song of mine I showed you last time? Do you want to hear the final version? I finished it yesterday,” he suggested casually, but there was a hint of doubt lacing his words. On the other hand, you couldn’t have been more sure of an answer, so you nodded, and followed him into the practise room they usually occupied.

Even though the room already boasted many musical instruments, the boy got his guitar out of his case with as much elegance as only a well-practised artist could. After setting it up, so that he could play comfortably, he started playing the song from last time. He did work on making the beginning of the song longer, and there were parts that he changed a bit, but overall, it had the same cosy vibe. The lyrics were also extended, him singing that he wanted to be a hero, an angel or whatever you wanted to call someone you could lean on to ‘you’, and when the words left his mouth, a pleasant shiver ran down your spine.

You were totally caught up in your feelings - as if the melody wrapped you up, and you were just spinning inside the hurricane of his, going round and round with each passing second. There was nothing else around you, just him and the song. It felt a bit like you were in your own world, something that just the two of you had, that’s why the silence that followed the last accords felt so striking.

Taesan put his guitar to the side after he finished, and you found yourself clapping instinctively. You didn’t think too much into the gesture, but the boy was fighting a smile, and eventually failed. A beautiful, grateful smile blossomed in its wake.

“Before you ask, I liked it a lot. It felt light and comforting,” you admitted before asking about the inspiration behind the song because you were genuinely curious about it. He had mentioned before that a lot of his songs were inspired by books, movies and stories he heard from others, so you wondered if it was the same this time as well.

His eyes widened a bit hearing your question, and for a moment, you thought that you asked something intimate. Then, he sucked in a deep breath before confessing:

“It was inspired by you.”

“By me?” You repeated, exasperated.

“Yeah. I started working on it after I saw you crying that day,” he started, and even though his voice didn’t waver, you could feel that he wasn’t completely confident in his answer. “I don’t think I was the best at reassuring you back then, so I wrote this song because this is what I wanted to say then. I’m just not really good with words, you see,” he let out a little, somewhat ashamed giggle by the end, averting his eyes from your face to the strand of cotton he was currently picking on his pants.

You were speechless for a few seconds, digesting his words - or rather his confession. You were convinced that he had been the best kind of reassurance he could have been at the time, and you appreciated that he had listened to you, that he had told you that you could feel however you wanted, he wasn’t embarrassed by the sight of you crying, and then there had been his crumpled tissues, too.

The reason you didn’t mind spending time with him, rather, you felt comforted by his presence was because of that night: because he had seen you at such a low point, he had heard your sob story regarding Selina, and he hadn’t turned his back on you. Not out of pity because Taesan would be the last person who would do something like that out of pity, but because he truly wanted to get to know you better.

“I… I think you did enough back then. I was the one who felt ashamed because I thought I said too much, and I didn’t want to open up to someone in case…” In case they would leave you like Selina did. In case they felt insignificant, and called you a horrible person. In case they broke your heart just enough to make you never want to lend it to another person, ever again.

Taesan hummed, playing with his fingers resting in his lap before finding your eyes, and he gave you that soft smile that you were so grateful to see on him.

“You don’t have to worry about that. As I’ve said in the song, you can lean on me,” he reassured you gently, and everything ceased to exist in that moment, even time itself. It felt like your heart - that had not been thumping before - now beat for the very first time, awakening from its deep, deep sleep.

And you welcomed this warm, fuzzy feeling inside your chest with open arms.

To be honest, you were scared of this newfound feeling at first. It was as if everything was so easy, so natural. Nothing ever felt forced with Taesan. Sometimes you had lunch together at the canteen, sometimes you didn’t. Sometimes you stopped by each other’s desk in the morning to talk, sometimes you didn’t. Sometimes he asked you to help him with a Maths problem, sometimes you talked about anything but school.

On top of that, you were scared of this feeling because of the timing as well. Senior year seemed like the worst possible time to fall in love. However, after a while, you couldn’t deny it. You tried, you really did try to push these feelings aside, and Taesan was gentle enough to not push you for an answer. Even though he hadn’t confessed as per se, you highly doubted that a song like his would be inspired by someone who was just a friend.

As time went by, Christmas break rolled around, and you didn’t see him for some time. Then, he didn’t show up at school the following week because he had come down with a cold or so you were told by Leehan. So the next time you saw him, you had every reason to be looking forward to seeing him, and it was just your luck that it was a Tuesday as well, so you were more than sure that you would leave the school together.

You were right, but as you were leaving the building, you stopped the boy, and reached a knitted wool scarf out to him, something that matched his dark winter coat. Taesan eyed it for a few seconds before you broke it down to him:

“It’s for you. I wouldn’t have to give you one if you just got yourself a scarf, especially after being sick last week,” you told him, and you realised that you were almost reprimanding him. How could you not though? He was still not wearing a scarf, and it was freezing cold now.

“It was just a cold,” he justified, but there was an amused smile in the corner of his lips. Mind you, this was not a usual behaviour from you, but last week, you had enough time to ponder about his whereabouts before asking Leehan. Because apparently, it was embarrassing to tell you through Kakaotalk that he was sick, so you had to ask his best friend.

“Still, I was worried when you didn’t show up on Monday.”

“Oh, so you were worried about me?” He raised an eyebrow, playfully leaning closer to you while grabbing the scarf. For a few seconds, you two just stared at each other, stared into each other’s eyes, and it was so easy to get lost in those deep, dark galaxies. Then, you willed yourself to tear your gaze away, and pushed the scarf into his hands once and for all, a bit more forcefully than you intended.

“This is not funny, Taesan. I just don’t want you to get sick again, okay? I couldn’t help but worry about you last week, and I’ve missed spending time with you, so if you don’t want to skip out on that, I suggest you take that scarf and dress warmly.”

“You missed spending time with me?” Taesan repeated, the playfulness slowly leaving his voice, his tone taking on a more serious and curious layer. He eyed you for a good second before asking: “Why?”

“Because I like you, why else?” You threw your hands into the air, exasperated, because you had enough of his teasing for the day, but when you realised what you had just said, your hands flew to your mouth.

You didn’t expect to tell him that so straightforwardly, let alone do this just in front of the school with the scarf you had gotten him still in his hand, but it just burst out, and there was no stopping it. Not that Taesan seemed to mind as his lips slowly curled upwards in a somewhat coy manner, and his reaction immediately made you feel relieved.

“That’s good… because I like you, too,” he confessed, and put the scarf around your neck to pull you close to him. You smiled into his embrace as his arms slowly enveloped you, and although it was winter, it felt like being embraced by the sun.

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this story of mine! Let me know what you think! 😊

Click here for my BND masterlist

If you want to read more stories of mine, let it be for BOYNEXTDOOR or for other artists, consider signing up for my taglist here. 🥰

Also, some fun little details and researches because they heavily inspired the story:

Title taken from Taesan's self-composed song called 'sink into the memory' which is also the song that was inspired by reader in the story (when Taesan finishes the song in the story, the lyrics' interpretation is totally made up by me)

Here is Taesan singing MCR's 'I Don't Love You'

Here is Taesan talking about his top 3 MCR songs

Header taken from this WHY Concept Film

Hope you have a lovely day/night! Take care! ❤️